Philadelphia, PA – Not believing his rash of bad luck in the past week, 76ers center looked skyward after news released of his traffic stop on the Ben Franklin Bridge for driving 108 MPH and jokingly told his teammates “at least it’s not raining!” before going to field questions from the media.
Minutes later CIA agents were arresting the embattled rookie for high treason against the U.S. government.
“We had reason to believe Mr. Okafor was selling some of our most sensitive nuclear secrets to the Chinese,” said CIA spokesman Richard Grant. “After a high tech sting with some of our highest operatives, we have reached the rock-solid conclusion that he is one of America’s greatest internal enemies.”
Philadelphia, PA – Several sources have cited that a number of 76ers are questioning the official height of the baskets at the Wells Fargo Center.
Philadelphia, PA – Lane Johnson’s recent comments about Lincoln Financial Field not offering a home field advantage because of apathetic fans has cemented punter Donnie Jones as the most likable member of the 2015-2016 roster.
Philadelphia, PA -Adding another wrinkle to a horrendous season, Darren Sproles and Mark Sanchez had to be separated by Jason Peters at the end of yesterdays game as the two had a brief, but noticeable, argument on the field.
94 WIP
Philadelphia, PA – Adding insult to injury for the beleaguered parent company of the struggling Philadelphia Inquirer and Daily News, the Philadelphia Media Network was forced to levy a lawsuit against its caviar provider for the “sub-par quality” of its salted fish eggs.
Philadelphia, PA – Despite losing their 12th game in a row to open the 2015-2016 NBA season, morale in the 76ers locker room remained high after Brett Brown informed the team they would indeed be allowed to keep their jerseys after the season ended.
The Coggin Toboggan 