Rod Brind’Amour turns heel as he is honored by Flyers


Oh god, why Rod?!

Philadelphia, PA – A supposed night of closure and redemption turned into a night of true shock as Rod Brind’Amour turned heel and railed against the city that loved him so dearly.

The evening started off on a high note, as Flyers play-by-play man Jim Jackson introduced him to the roaring crowd.

Brind’Amour walked out of the tunnel after being announced, smiling and shaking hands with familiar faces. Jackson presented him with a “Brind’Amour Cup” and team dignitaries thanked him for his years of service to the team.

However, as he raised the trophy above his head, he brought it down violently of Jackson’s head and slammed it into the gut of Flyers great Bobby Clarke, on hand for the ceremony. The stunned crowd watched as he slowly stripped off his Flyers jersey to reveal a Carolina Hurricanes jersey underneath.

Pleading with him to stop, Brind’Amour produced a steel chair from behind the Hurricanes bench and brought it over Claude Giroux’s head and then snatched the microphone away from Jackson’s prone body.

“I’d just like to thank you all for paying my salary during the worst nine years of my life. You know what was great about playing for Philadelphia? Leaving Philadelphia far, far behind, so I would never have to see you mouth breathers ever again,” the sneering Brind’Amour yelled into the mic.

Brind’Amour baited the crowd and pantomimed tears, before motioning towards the Flyers media room. The “Old North State,” Carolina’s state song, blared through the arena.

“Please rise and show some RESPECT to Carolina. You all live in one of the worst states in the union, so for one night you can all pretend to be a part of the greatest state in the entire country, CAROLINA,” he yelled, before snatching a Flyers banner from a young fan in the front row and ripping it to pieces.

Several in attendance were amazed and confused that the Flyers front office would have the state song cued up for some reason.

At press time, Flyers icon Chris Pronger grabbed a house microphone and threatened to “come out of retirement” to teach Brind’Amour a lesson, to the thunderous applause of all in the arena.

The Flyers won 3-2 in overtime.

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