This may be the worst time in sports. The Phillies are still early in their season, the NBA season is finished, NBA free agency/the draft doesn’t start for another month, and the Eagles are running around in shorts while beat writers try to pump out 2,000 word minicamp columns about the “explosiveness” of a 5th string cornerback that has no chance of making the roster.
I’m bored. This is boring. So let’s talk about movies, shall we?
A few weeks ago I posted a statement on Twitter about Major League II, which seemed to garner quite a bit of attention from the morons that find me to be a good follow.
Major League II is just a god awful sequel. One of the worst ever made when compared to the absolute classic that preceded it. Sadly, many people leapt to its defense, leaving me to wonder if perhaps I was the crazy one who misremembered the movie being a complete piece of shit.
After watching it for about an hour I am happy to report that it’s still a heaping, smoldering pile of runny dung left to fester and rot in the sun.
It features a number of red flags that immediately let’s you know it’s going to be SHIT. All of the original cast members from the first movie didn’t come back? Check. Instead of writing a character’s absence into the script, they’re recast with a much worse actor? Check. One of the main character completely changes their attitude/way of thinking for no reason whatsoever other than for a plot point that they must “find” what gave them success in the first place? Check. Going from a hard R rating to a PG-13 rating? Check. An expanded cast of “wacky” and “crazy” characters to up the ante of the sequel? CHECK CHECK CHECK CHECK.
Wesley Snipes’ Willie Mayes Hayes character was recast as Omar Epps. Rick Vaughn is a spineless businessman and Pedro Cerrano is a pacifist for not reason at all other than for “laughs.” A kooky Japanese baseball character is brought into the mix to really add to the grab bag of hilarity. They didn’t even film the movie in Cleveland, choosing to film all of the baseball scenes at Camden Yards in Baltimore. What the hell is going on?
But is it the worst sequel of all time when you think about the DISPARITY OF GREATNESS when compared with the original? Major League is, in my opinion, the best movie about baseball ever made. It’s eminently re-watchable, quotable, and a timeless piece of film. It’s not dated after nearly three decades, unlike the sequel that seemed out of place the second it came out in theaters in 1994.
We need rules though, people. Rules are what define us; they bring order to chaos. Let’s try to narrow this down and bring clarity to this pressing question after the jump.
