Doug Pederson

Should Doug Pederson be criticized for not getting his best offensive option more involved?

The best coaches in the NFL play to their players’ strengths and hide their players’ weaknesses. A coach doesn’t mold his team in his vision, but he molds his vision to his team.

A coach like Bill Belichick sees what his players do well, puts them in a position that plays to their strengths, and limits their exposure to hide their deficiencies.

It’s an indomitable fact. This is what successful coaches do and how good teams win. So, why is Doug Pederson refusing to showcase the best offensive option the Eagles have and limiting their explosive scoring potential?

Yes, the Eagles won, but it’s more of a concern that Pederson can’t see the forest for the trees.

It makes no sense. Is he being stubborn? Does he not see what he has in front of him? Either way, it’s a huge concern moving forward in the season.

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I don’t know about you, but I missed Doug Pederson’s wide receiver screens

Forget about the Eagles only running the ball 13 times, or Doug Pederson acting like a toddler on Christmas morning and only playing with a cardboard box when his brand new LeGarrette Blount sits unloved on the sideline. No. What I missed most on Sunday was Doug’s dedication to his wide receiver screen game plan that has given the team so much success in the past.

How can you expect to keep a defense honest when you don’t throw in at least one or two wide receiver screens a game? You’re doing yourself a disservice when you don’t give Wentz the opportunity to throw a haphazard pass to an unprepared receiver 8-yard behind the line of scrimmage.

He let the fans down and he let his team down. Bring the screen back Doug, we beg of you.

Or at least run the ball more than 13 GODDAMN TIMES. Fuck my life. Mix in a draw once in a while so I don’t have to see Carson Wentz overthrow/underthrow every single pass he throws over 25-yards. Jesus.

Other game notes after the jump:

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If the Eagles lose week 2 against Kansas City is the season over?

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Photo credit: NJ.com

1-0 after week 1. Good job guys. Good effort. Great to get out of D.C. with a victory over the hated Washington Native Americans (name changed to keep this blog as a safe space) and come back to Philadelphia a winner.

Not so fast though. The season is in trouble, and anyone with a good pair of eyes can see it.

With a week 2 jaunt against the Kansas City Chiefs looming over the franchise, we have to face some serious facts about the season already.

If the Eagles lose against the Chiefs next Sunday, is the season over?

I say yes.

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An Eagles season and the five stages of grief

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In 1969, Elizabeth Kubler published her seminal book on death and dying, titled…err…”On Death and Dying,” which first put forth the idea of the “Five Stages of Grief.” While working with terminally ill patients, Kubler observed that patients typically traveled through “five stages” after being diagnosed with a terminal illness.

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance have become the widely accepted stages of terminally ill patients and has been expanded to people going through traumatic or life changing events. While the stages may be different for each individual, the theory has proven to be a valuable tool in helping those coping with tremendous stress and anxiety in their lives.

Sounds like an Eagles fan to me.

After years of great wailing and gnashing of teeth watching the Eagles flounder through season after season, I’ve identified the classic five stages every fan experiences watching one of the most inept franchises in the NFL fuck its way through lost season after lost season.

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BREAKING NEWS: Doug Pederson tells team Nelson Agholor sent to farm upstate

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He’s living a much happier life now.

Philadelphia, PA – After several repeated inquiries from teammates and coaches prior to tonight’s game against the Green Bay Packers, Eagles Head Coach Doug Pederson is reportedly telling those who ask about Nelson Agholor that the young, troubled wide receiver has been sent to live on a farm ┬áin upstate Pennsylvania.

“We thought Nelson needed some room to run, to play, and to live free on a big lovely farm. Plenty of space for him to prance and live his life away from the prying eyes of the media and disappointed coaches,” Pederson said.

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It’s official, the Eagles are worse than the stomach flu

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The face that launched a thousand buckets of puke yesterday.

My kid has had the stomach flu since Wednesday. This house has been filled with puke, shit, tears, and all sorts of horrendous bodily fluids since early last week, some of them even from him.

Whether or not the puking/shitting was caused by him actually watching the first quarter of the game with me is yet to be determined.

Good LORD that was terrible. Doug Pederson basically had a stroke on the sidelines and decided to leave 6-points on the field in a crucial NFC East game and now the Eagles are where they belong, in the mother fucking basement.

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Jim Schwartz rewards himself with relaxing fugue state after each game

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Fugued out.

Philadelphia, PA – Defensive coordinator Jim Schwartz did not meet with media after the Eagles 34-3 win over the Pittsburgh Steelers. The intensely devoted Schwartz instead chose to take some time for himself, unwind, and place himself in a nice fugue state to calm down after the stress of coaching an NFL game.

Schwartz typically will retire to room 57-B in bowels of Lincoln Financial Field after a game, find a nice spot in the corner of the room, and face the wall for hours at a time until he loses all conscious thought and memory of self.

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