Kansas City Chiefs

I don’t know about you, but I missed Doug Pederson’s wide receiver screens

Forget about the Eagles only running the ball 13 times, or Doug Pederson acting like a toddler on Christmas morning and only playing with a cardboard box when his brand new LeGarrette Blount sits unloved on the sideline. No. What I missed most on Sunday was Doug’s dedication to his wide receiver screen game plan that has given the team so much success in the past.

How can you expect to keep a defense honest when you don’t throw in at least one or two wide receiver screens a game? You’re doing yourself a disservice when you don’t give Wentz the opportunity to throw a haphazard pass to an unprepared receiver 8-yard behind the line of scrimmage.

He let the fans down and he let his team down. Bring the screen back Doug, we beg of you.

Or at least run the ball more than 13 GODDAMN TIMES. Fuck my life. Mix in a draw once in a while so I don’t have to see Carson Wentz overthrow/underthrow every single pass he throws over 25-yards. Jesus.

Other game notes after the jump:

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Greg Lewis beginning to suspect he was hired by Andy Reid purely to courier food to Kansas City

Andy ReidPhiladelphia, PA – The newly hired wide receivers coach for the Kansas City Chiefs Greg Lewis shook his head as he looked at yet another text from his new boss, head coach Andy Reid, as he packed up the last of his belongings to move out to Kansas City.

Lewis showed the latest text to a Coggin Toboggan reporter, which simply read, “10 cases of Butterscotch Krimpets + three pallets of Sarcone’s hard rolls.”

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Nick Foles after watching Sam Bradford, Carson Wentz: ‘I could do that’

pi-nfl-chiefs-nick-foles-082116-vadapt-664-high-54Kansas City – Second string Kansas City Chief quarterback Nick Foles, watching highlights of former Eagles quarterback Sam Bradford and current Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz, shook his head and muttered dejectedly to himself after another week of not getting off the sidelines.

After seeing the highlight of Wentz side-stepping a rusher, running along the line of scrimmage, and finding Darren Sproles for a 73-yard touchdown to seal a win against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Foles couldn’t help but find fault in the play.

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Andy Reid caught tampering with rib eating contest

Andy Reid

He’s got to do a better job.¬†

Kansas City – Sources confirmed Wednesday afternoon that Kansas City Chiefs Head Coach Andy Reid would be fined $75,000 for tampering in pursuit of a coveted rib eating contest at Woodyard Bar-B-Q.

Representatives from the famous¬†barbecue establishment said Coach Reid attempted to learn beforehand from a restaurant employee which sauces would be used for the 25th Annual “Rib Riot” contest.

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Amidst heavy criticism, Andy Reid fondly looks back on gigantic childhood

citerdpKansas City, Mo – A pensive, self-reflective Andy Reid sat back Sunday afternoon, a day after the Chiefs season came to a close in a playoff game against the Patriots, and openly wondered if the hard work put into each season was worth the criticism and brow beating a head coach is put through year in and year out.

After being lambasted for the Chiefs final, lackadaisical drive while down two scores, Reid sat back and yearned for the simpler days of his freakishly gigantic childhood.

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BREAKING NEWS: Andy Reid cost city restaurants thousands in health code violations

Andy ReidPhiladelphia, PA – Andy Reid, former Philadelphia Eagles head coach, has been found responsible for committing thousands of health code violations in restaurants throughout the city.

The CT was made aware of this staggering development when, earlier this week, the Philadelphia Inquirer launched the “Clean Plates” initiative, a comprehensive database of Philadelphia-area restaurant health inspections designed to educate city diners about the cleanliness of the establishments they visit.

When combing through the reports, the CT stumbled across several interesting health violation codes hidden among the more common violations.

For example, several South Philadelphia area restaurants, namely those around Lincoln Financial Field, were found to be in violation of “Code [46.111(a) ]: Allowing Coach Reid free reign of the walk in freezer without proper supervision,” and “Code [52.258(C) ]: “Failure to properly secure Coach Reid’s feed bag with high tensile straps, resulting in debris and spittle spraying throughout the dining area.”

These were among hundreds of violation codes designed with Reid in mind that could be found throughout the health inspection reports.

Wishing to remain anonymous, a local owner of an Italian eatery near the stadiums said Reid was a fixture at his dining establishment, costing him thousands of dollars in fines.

“Nights after losses were the worst. Coach would come in mumbling about how we needed to put him in a better position in the restaurant so he could succeed in consuming as much pasta as humanly possible,” the owner said. “Once, one of our waitresses slipped and fell on a half-eaten pork chop that had fallen out of Coach Reid’s mustache. We don’t serve pork chops. I have no idea where it came from.”

Disaster struck for the restaurant the night Reid was fired from his position as head coach. He arrived at the restaurant around 6 p.m. and didn’t leave until 4 a.m. the next morning, the owner reported. Despite numerous pleas from the wait staff to “take it easy,” Reid eventually passed out after consuming a final bucket of gravy, falling into a deep slumber atop a frightened bus boy, trapping him for hours.

When he awakened, he silently paid his bill and left, tipping a generous 15%.

“He’s a menace. At least he’s Kansas City’s problem now. Whenever the Chiefs come to town, though, we play it safe and close up for a few days.”