I’m dying right now. DYING. Six hours to go until the Super Bowl LII and I can’t concentrate on anything else. Sure I took my kid for a walk this morning, but I was obsessively checking twitter for Eagles updates as he silently judged me from the stroller for my shoddy parenting. Kid, I know, believe me….but give me one day of being an absentee father, it’s been 13 years since the Eagles were in the Super Bowl and I’m a little fucking distracted.
I can’t stop looking at the torn Eagles poster from the Inquirer we haphazardly put in our window before the playoff run. It has seen better days, especially considering my kid wants to play with it every second (and by play, I mean fling it over his head and stomp on it until he gets bored).
I tried to recall exactly what it was I was doing back in 2005 in the hours leading up to the game. I was a senior at SUNY Binghamton and I made the three-hour drive to come back home and watch it at my buddy Kevin’s apartment in Queen Village. I 100% was not going to watch it with my jackass college friends (all Giants fans) who would have been giving each other silent smirks as I melted down into a pool of blind rage throughout the second half.
Nick Foles has been around, folks, and he’s one of the most talented backup quarterbacks in the NFL. But still, following the news that Carson Wentz had indeed torn his ACL and would miss the rest of the year set off great waling and gnashing of teeth throughout the Delaware Valley.
BUT DON’T FRET! Nick Foles is going to be fine and I’m fully expecting the Eagles to still reach the Super Bowl.
Do you know why I’m so confident? Do you know why I’m expecting the Eagles to not miss a single beat with Foles under center the rest of the way?
Let me reveal to you the source of all my confidence in one Nick Foles.
Confession. I didn’t see a second of the game yesterday. I had to watch the ESPN.com gamecast app on my phone as I half paid attention to a delightful Sunday wedding (mazel tov, Barry and Carol).
I didn’t see a second of the action, but even by intermittently reading the results of each play on my phone I could tell the Eagles had unhooked the Broncos off their ventilator in the first quarter and silently watched them pass away for the rest of the game like an unwanted relative.
It was a mercy killing. Brock, sorry, but you shouldn’t have signed that DNR.
Watching highlights of the game reaffirmed what I saw on Gamecast. It was a smashing, through and through, against one of the best defenses in the NFL.
Big dick Nick Foles even got to slang it around for a while. I’m sure you’ll hear a few people call into WIP and wonder if Foles should start for the rest of the year to keep Wentz “fresh.”
The Eagles are 8-1. Tops in the NFC East. Tops in the NFC. Tops in the NFL.
So why are we all still waiting for the other shoe to drop? Why is it so hard for us to come to grips that this team is actually this fucking good?
They’re all out of shoes. Nothing left to drop.
Trouble is coming back to Philadelphia.
Philadelphia, PA – Shouts of “Foles coming yo!” rang out through a dilapidated, run-down section of North Philadelphia this morning as a familiar face returned to the streets for the first time since 2014.
A sawed off shotgun swinging freely at his side, barely covered by a ratty overcoat, newly re-signed backup Eagles quarterback Nick Foles strode confidently down Kensington Avenue into the Philadelphia Badlands.
Whistling the Eagles fight song to himself as he watched dealers scramble off the streets at his mere presence, Foles entered a ramshackle building and quickly headed to the back of the broken down structure.
Kansas City – Second string Kansas City Chief quarterback Nick Foles, watching highlights of former Eagles quarterback Sam Bradford and current Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz, shook his head and muttered dejectedly to himself after another week of not getting off the sidelines.
After seeing the highlight of Wentz side-stepping a rusher, running along the line of scrimmage, and finding Darren Sproles for a 73-yard touchdown to seal a win against the Pittsburgh Steelers, Foles couldn’t help but find fault in the play.
Kirk Cousins did not play well last night against the Pittsburgh Steelers, which did not sit well with many Redskins fans after the organization labeled him with the franchise tag.
His performance reminded us of another quarterback who came off a career year and didn’t quite live up to expectation. It seems like a great joke, comparing Kirk Cousins to Nick Foles, but do you think it’s been done yet? I’m not sure.
Well let’s check Twitter and see, shall we?
(Not off to a great start. Sam Donnellon is a hack, so if he tweeted it I’m sure many, many others did. I like how he had to quality that Kirk Cousins is the NFL SEASON’S version of Nick Foles, lest we thought he was the NBA’s version of Nick Foles)
Voodoo enthusiast, Nick Foles.
Los Angeles, Calif. – Noting that it was the smartest investment he has made in years, free agent Nick Foles noted that the voodoo lessons he had taken in the off-season were practically paying for themselves.
With the recent injury to Cowboys backup quarterback Kellen Moore, several NFL sources have said the Cowboys are reportedly interested in bringing Foles in to backup starter Tony Romo.
“I’m on the market for one day and Kellen Moore snaps his ankle like a twig at the Cowboys’ training camp? Gee, I wonder how that happened?” Foles said.