Carson Wentz

Joe Santoliquito digs deeper hole for himself in bizarre WIP Morning Show interview

Literally one of the first rules of journalism that you’re taught as a striving, young reporter is to never make the story about yourself.

Joe Santoliquito must have skipped that day of class at Gudger Journalism Tech Correspondence School.

In a BIZARRE appearance with Angelo Cataldi on the WIP Morning Show, Santoliquito stumbled, bumbled, and fumbled his way through a near 19-minute interview in which you could AUDIBLY HEAR Al Morganti restraining himself from jumping over the studio console and throttling the quivering mass of jelly for a haphazard and poorly written piece of “journalism.”

Near the end of the interview, Santoliquito takes a bizarre stance on the article and how he’s the best thing Wentz has going for him.

“Guess what? I’m the best thing Carson Wentz has ever had going for him. You know why? You don’t think this is going to piss him off even more? You don’t think this is going to motivate him even more, to stick this up someone’s little tail and just say, hey listen pal, you’re wrong. Everybody else that believes what you said and wrote is wrong.”

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of a journalist who desperately wants to make the story about himself. You can listen to the entire interview right here.

It’s like Santoliquito had visions of parading through Broad Street in 2020 after the Eagles Super Bowl victory, the Lombardi Trophy in his hands, as Wentz thanked him for all he did.

“I couldn’t have done it without you Joe. You were right all along, you motivated me to be a better person, to get over my ego, to become a better teammate, to become a better man….and a better lover,” Wentz would say, and then softly caress the bearded journalists cheek and give him a tender kiss on the mouth.

You can dream, Joe, but something tells me you’re not going to be allowed in the Eagles locker room past this week.

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The anatomy of a lost season

In retrospect, we should have seen it coming. The signs could not have been more clear. Everything pointed to a down season for the Eagles, the vaunted “Super Bowl hangover” that seems to plague every Super Bowl Champion outside of Foxboro.

But we turned our heads. We ignored it. We pointed to the beefed up defensive line, a healthy Sidney Jones, a largely intact and returning offense, and Big Balls Doug Pederson leading us back to the promised land.

We put the blinders on. We ignored Carson Wentz coming back from a devastating knee injury. We ignored Alshon Jeffery coming back from a devastating shoulder injury. We ignored Brandon Graham coming back from a devastating ankle injury. We ignored Jason Peters coming back from a devastating Achilles injury. We ignored Darren Sproles coming back from a devastating leg and knee injury. We ignored a spine injury to Tim Jernigan. A spine injury!

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In another “Sliding Doors” reality, the Eagles traded for Mariota and the city is miserable

If you’ve never seen the 1998 Gwyneth Paltrow classic “Sliding Doors” you’re doing yourself quite the disservice. The movie focuses on a woman rushing to catch a train in the London tube (because this movie is so very properly British), and follows separate realities of the woman based on if she had caught or missed the train.

SPOILER: She dies in one of the realities and lives in the other. I don’t remember which one, but despite what you’re all thinking she is not hit by a train in one of the realities. That would have made for a better movie, but who am I criticize the creative choices of Ms. Paltrow?

Either way, it explores an interesting wrinkle I’m sure we’ve all thought about. What if we had taken another career path? What if we had stayed at that party for another 15 minutes and met our soulmate instead of leaving early to go home and drink by ourselves and pass out on our couch at 1 a.m.?

Watching Marcus Mariota bumblefuck his way around the field on Sunday against a piece of garbage Miami Dolphins team and throw bad pass after bad pass made me stop for a moment and consider the path of the Eagles franchise if chubby, no-huddle guru Chip Kelly had actually pulled the trigger on a deal to bring Mariota to the Eagles before the 2015 draft.

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Can we all stop falling for Angelo Cataldi’s P.T. Barnum shtick?

“There’s a sucker born every minute, and they’ll all call my radio show if I say something controversial about Carson Wentz and the Eagles.”

angelo

I know, I know. I’ve seen Angelo Cataldi’s tweet about Carson Wentz and Nick Foles this morning too. It’s crazy right? Doesn’t it make you furious that someone could be trumpeting this OUTRAGEOUS line of thinking just a mere month after the Eagles finally won a Super Bowl?! It’s infuriating, and I bet you can’t WAIT to give him a piece of your mind.

But, before you fire up the twitter accounts and lob some well-deserved insults Cataldi’s way, I’d like you to first take a  breath, step away from your keyboard, and give this question some deep, deep thought.

Do you really think he believes this nonsense?

Of course he doesn’t.

Angelo Cataldi is the jowly, tepid Philadelphia sports talk radio version of P.T. Barnum, and he knows how to play this city and its fans like a fiddle to line his own coffers.

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Mike Missanelli is getting a TV show in 2018 for some reason

NBC Sports Philadelphia  and 97.5 the Fanatic announced yesterday that Mike Missanelli will be the host of an afternoon show on NBC Sports Philadelphia beginning in 2018. According to a tweet from the station, NBC Sports Philadelphia will simulcast Missanelli’s show each afternoon and will be followed by Philly Sports Talk at 5 p.m.

In related news, I’m very much looking forward to reading NBC Sports Philadelphia’s February 2018 press release about the show being cancelled.

Why? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYY is this needed on television? Were fans of Mike Missanelli’s radio show clamoring to see his gigantic noggin on their television screen every afternoon? Isn’t that one of the positives to listening to Missanelli,? You don’t have to look at him? I’m pretty sure that was one of the station’s taglines for his show….”Listen to the Mike Missanelli show every afternoon on 97.5 the Fanatic…at least you don’t have to look at him.”

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I blame Angelo Cataldi’s Los Angeles trip for Carson Wentz’s knee injury

Last week, either Thursday or Friday, I had the unpleasurable experience of not having the little device that allows you to plug your iPhone 7 into a normal auxiliary cable. You know what I’m talking about, the little connector doohickey that you lose 800 times a week and makes you CURSE THE GODS that Apple has no idea what their consumers want.

Rather than being left alone with my tortured thoughts for 20 minutes, against my better judgement I turned on the WIP morning show (and secretly hoped it would be in the middle of a commercial break so I would come to my senses and turn off the radio) and was BLASTED by Angelo Cataldi’s shrill voice, cackling about his plans for a trip to the west coast to watch the Eagles take on the Rams in a “complete and utter lock” of a game.

Al Morganti temporarily roused himself from his paint-huffing induced stupor and asked Cataldi if he remembered the last time he actually attended an Eagles game in person.

“Not since the Vet,” Cataldi grunted into the microphone.

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This is the part of the Eagles season where Michael Myers sits up

It’s a few days after the Eagles defeated their toughest challenge on the season, the 4-1 Carolina Panthers, by a score of 28 to 23. The roster is flying high. Everyone is feeling good. Nothing can stop them.

And Michael Myers is lurking with his butchers knife, just waiting to pop out nowhere and ruin everyone’s shit. But, like in every one of those movies, there’s always a hero that sends him back to hell. Does this franchise finally have their “final girl” (the moniker given to the final survivor in a slasher movie, typically a young, busty, virginal blonde) in Carson Wentz?

I say yes.

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