Carson Wentz

Let’s Play Philadelphia’s Favorite Game, “What Does Max Kellerman Look Like?!?”

Frat boy and hot take artist Max Kellerman slithered his way into town this morning for a special Philadelphia episode of  ESPN’s migraine inducing “First Take.” As was his destiny, Kellerman was lustily booed by well-lubricated fans who used his appearance at Chickie & Pete’s as an excuse to get shit-faced drunk instead of going to work, as is every Philadelphian’s god given right.

At this point you’re not going to read anything new that hasn’t already been said about Kellerman, his inane opinions on Carson Wentz, or the fact that a third-level tier boxing analyst wormed his way onto the national sports opinion stage on the back of Stephen A. Smith’s notoriety.

No. Let’s be much more childish and play Philadelphia’s favorite game, “What does Max Kellerman look like?!?” after the jump!

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Maybe the Practice Squad Should Just Play Out the Rest of the Season?

Looks like we have a real “Replacements” type situation on our hands, as it seems the only members of the Eagles roster who actually want to play out the rest of year are those who languished on the practice squad for the entirety of the year.

Maybe it’s not great for your talent evaluation skills when practice squad players are making more of an impact on offense than most of your high-level draft picks, ehh Howie?

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The Eagles are multi-faceted in their ineptitude

A popular Twitter argument raged on yesterday, and likely will continue to rage on for years after all of us are dead and buried. Is the franchise quarterback Carson Wentz shouldering enough of the blame for yet another Eagles loss? Sure he played a nice game, but when it mattered in the end the team came up short.

Fifty years from now we’ll be hunched over our iPhones, spines crooked with age, shrunken shoulders in our Dawkins jerseys hate-tweeting each other over the perceived or non-perceived slights of Wentz.

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What if 2017 was it for the Eagles?

We all thought dynasty when Brady’s desperation heave fell to the earth on Feb. 4, 2018, didn’t we? I know I did. I remember touting the Eagles moves that offseason at a two-year-old’s birthday party to my friends, firmly declaring the season would be “a complete disappointment if the Eagles didn’t AT LEAST return to the Super Bowl.”

Well here we are. A season and a half later. Carson Wentz looks more and more like a guy who lucked into 10 amazing MVP-caliber games, got hurt, and then went through his next 21 games as a quarterback lacking health, confidence, weapons….and the elite skill that made him a top-3 quarterback in 2017.

Was that it? Was 2017 the high-water mark and we’ll all just be waiting for that next wave until the seafloor is dry and arid?

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Eagles stomp all over the sharpest of Wisconsin cheddars in their march to victory

The Eagles sent the Green Bay faithful packing to their houses made of cheese curds and beer brats with a stunning 34-27 victory that may or may not send old Uncle Coggin to an early grave.

Ten seconds was all it took to completely believe the Eagles were destined to give up yet another fourth quarter victory to SCREAMING at Nigel Bradham to get the fuck down and not fumble the game winning interception as salty Aaron Rodgers looked on in disgust, perhaps thinking back to fonder times when he still spoke to his extended family.

It was a season saver. 2-2, onto the bloated, rotting corpse of the Jets next week, and they’re rolling.

Random game thoughts after the jump:

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The Blame Game – Lions 27, Eagles 24 Edition

Does the F-Lot Crew still have that coffin from two weeks ago? I wouldn’t mind laying down, closing the lid, and sleeping forever after watching the Eagles fall to 1-2 on the year after dropping yet another winnable game to the Lions.

This is a new segment at the Coggin. The Blame Game. Let’s throw some blame around for who was most responsible for a putrid loss, let’s get it all off our chests today, and let’s start things FRESH tomorrow for the inevitable heartbreaking letdown we’re bound to experience at Lambeau this Thursday.

Let’s throw some blame around after the jump.

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Joe Santoliquito digs deeper hole for himself in bizarre WIP Morning Show interview

Literally one of the first rules of journalism that you’re taught as a striving, young reporter is to never make the story about yourself.

Joe Santoliquito must have skipped that day of class at Gudger Journalism Tech Correspondence School.

In a BIZARRE appearance with Angelo Cataldi on the WIP Morning Show, Santoliquito stumbled, bumbled, and fumbled his way through a near 19-minute interview in which you could AUDIBLY HEAR Al Morganti restraining himself from jumping over the studio console and throttling the quivering mass of jelly for a haphazard and poorly written piece of “journalism.”

Near the end of the interview, Santoliquito takes a bizarre stance on the article and how he’s the best thing Wentz has going for him.

“Guess what? I’m the best thing Carson Wentz has ever had going for him. You know why? You don’t think this is going to piss him off even more? You don’t think this is going to motivate him even more, to stick this up someone’s little tail and just say, hey listen pal, you’re wrong. Everybody else that believes what you said and wrote is wrong.”

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of a journalist who desperately wants to make the story about himself. You can listen to the entire interview right here.

It’s like Santoliquito had visions of parading through Broad Street in 2020 after the Eagles Super Bowl victory, the Lombardi Trophy in his hands, as Wentz thanked him for all he did.

“I couldn’t have done it without you Joe. You were right all along, you motivated me to be a better person, to get over my ego, to become a better teammate, to become a better man….and a better lover,” Wentz would say, and then softly caress the bearded journalists cheek and give him a tender kiss on the mouth.

You can dream, Joe, but something tells me you’re not going to be allowed in the Eagles locker room past this week.

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The anatomy of a lost season

In retrospect, we should have seen it coming. The signs could not have been more clear. Everything pointed to a down season for the Eagles, the vaunted “Super Bowl hangover” that seems to plague every Super Bowl Champion outside of Foxboro.

But we turned our heads. We ignored it. We pointed to the beefed up defensive line, a healthy Sidney Jones, a largely intact and returning offense, and Big Balls Doug Pederson leading us back to the promised land.

We put the blinders on. We ignored Carson Wentz coming back from a devastating knee injury. We ignored Alshon Jeffery coming back from a devastating shoulder injury. We ignored Brandon Graham coming back from a devastating ankle injury. We ignored Jason Peters coming back from a devastating Achilles injury. We ignored Darren Sproles coming back from a devastating leg and knee injury. We ignored a spine injury to Tim Jernigan. A spine injury!

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In another “Sliding Doors” reality, the Eagles traded for Mariota and the city is miserable

If you’ve never seen the 1998 Gwyneth Paltrow classic “Sliding Doors” you’re doing yourself quite the disservice. The movie focuses on a woman rushing to catch a train in the London tube (because this movie is so very properly British), and follows separate realities of the woman based on if she had caught or missed the train.

SPOILER: She dies in one of the realities and lives in the other. I don’t remember which one, but despite what you’re all thinking she is not hit by a train in one of the realities. That would have made for a better movie, but who am I criticize the creative choices of Ms. Paltrow?

Either way, it explores an interesting wrinkle I’m sure we’ve all thought about. What if we had taken another career path? What if we had stayed at that party for another 15 minutes and met our soulmate instead of leaving early to go home and drink by ourselves and pass out on our couch at 1 a.m.?

Watching Marcus Mariota bumblefuck his way around the field on Sunday against a piece of garbage Miami Dolphins team and throw bad pass after bad pass made me stop for a moment and consider the path of the Eagles franchise if chubby, no-huddle guru Chip Kelly had actually pulled the trigger on a deal to bring Mariota to the Eagles before the 2015 draft.

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Can we all stop falling for Angelo Cataldi’s P.T. Barnum shtick?

“There’s a sucker born every minute, and they’ll all call my radio show if I say something controversial about Carson Wentz and the Eagles.”

angelo

I know, I know. I’ve seen Angelo Cataldi’s tweet about Carson Wentz and Nick Foles this morning too. It’s crazy right? Doesn’t it make you furious that someone could be trumpeting this OUTRAGEOUS line of thinking just a mere month after the Eagles finally won a Super Bowl?! It’s infuriating, and I bet you can’t WAIT to give him a piece of your mind.

But, before you fire up the twitter accounts and lob some well-deserved insults Cataldi’s way, I’d like you to first take a  breath, step away from your keyboard, and give this question some deep, deep thought.

Do you really think he believes this nonsense?

Of course he doesn’t.

Angelo Cataldi is the jowly, tepid Philadelphia sports talk radio version of P.T. Barnum, and he knows how to play this city and its fans like a fiddle to line his own coffers.

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