New York Giants

And with the 25th pick in the NFL Draft, the Philadelphia Eagles select….

…IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THEY PICK!

It’s the morning of the NFL Draft and it’s time yet again to invite the rest of the NFC East to eat shit, to eat it long and slow, because the Eagles are STILL the most recent team in the division to win a Super Bowl and it is our RIGHT as champions to roast the rest of the putrid teams in our division.

Yes, I know EVERY SINGLE other team in the NFC East has more championships than the Eagles, but who has the most recent one? The E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES do, damnit, so until that changes this will be an annual roast day to thoroughly humiliate the rest of the NFC East.

We did it last year. We’re doing it again this year. And hopefully the tradition will continue for many years to come.

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And with the 32nd pick in the 2018 NFL draft, the Philadelphia Eagles select…

…IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THEY PICK!

Suck my dick, rest of the NFL. Suck it long and suck it hard, because this may be the last time in my lifetime the Eagles select 32nd overall in the NFL draft so I am going to get my insults in and I’m going to get them in as often as I can. I hope it’s not the last time, but just in case I’m going to gloat as much as I can leading up to the draft tonight.

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Odell Beckham Jr. reportedly stole cursed doubloon from Blackbeard’s ship while in Miami

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Blackbeard the Pirate is not a Giants fan.

New York, NY – This should give the New York media more ammunition to pile on Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr.

After dropping several passes in key situations against the Green Bay Packers yesterday and facing harsh criticism for his decision to attend a boat party in Miami last week with several teammates, new information is breaking that reported Odell Beckham Jr. stole a gold doubloon piece from a spectral ghost ship the revelers came upon while sailing through deep fog off the Florida coast.

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Who will make our Eagles picks this week?

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Ho ho ho! The Eagles stink and it’s all your fault!

Hey! We actually got ALL of our Eagles picks right last week when we predicted the Eagles would not only lose to the Ravens, but would cover the spread as well. WE’RE ON A ROLL NOW, BUDDY BOY, JUST CALL ME COOL DR. MONEY CAUSE I’M MAKING STACKS UPON STACKS.

Oh, I’m sorry, our guest pickers are on fire (how long do I have to keep up this charade?)

Tonight the Eagles (5-9) will try not to make the bile rise in everyone’s throats throughout the Delaware Valley when they take on the NFC East rival NY Giants (10-4), with the
G-Men -2.5 point favorites.

But wait a second….what’s that I hear? Is that reindeer hooves up on the roof of the Coggin Toboggan offices, or just the thousands upon thousands of rats that call our facilities home?

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see who is making our picks this week….

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It’s official, the Eagles are worse than the stomach flu

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The face that launched a thousand buckets of puke yesterday.

My kid has had the stomach flu since Wednesday. This house has been filled with puke, shit, tears, and all sorts of horrendous bodily fluids since early last week, some of them even from him.

Whether or not the puking/shitting was caused by him actually watching the first quarter of the game with me is yet to be determined.

Good LORD that was terrible. Doug Pederson basically had a stroke on the sidelines and decided to leave 6-points on the field in a crucial NFC East game and now the Eagles are where they belong, in the mother fucking basement.

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Who will make our Eagles picks this week?

Barfffffffff. Well, at least our guest picker got ONE prediction right last week, as Tony Romo correctly predicted the Cowboys would beat the Eagles, but the Eagles would not cover the spread.

You know Dak Prescott would have predicted the Cowboys would have beaten the Eagles AND covered the spread. What? I’m just saying is all, not trying to create any undue controversy with the Cowboys.

This week, the Eagles (+2.5) are going up the Turnpike to take on the hated New York Giants and their cast of unlikable wide receivers. You’d better believe Mike Missanelli has his Twitter account primed and ready to fire off any number of offensive tweets when Victor Cruz suffers another season ending injury.  I’m sure he’ll try to interject some crude racial humor in a “jokey tweet” and then blame it on being Italian.

“Ehhhhhh come on now! Dats just like a my momma used to tweet, I know-a-no better den that! Mama Mia, I am in some a trouble.”

Can’t wait.

Win/loss prediction results: 3-4

Against the spread: 3-4

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