Barfffffffff. Well, at least our guest picker got ONE prediction right last week, as Tony Romo correctly predicted the Cowboys would beat the Eagles, but the Eagles would not cover the spread.
You know Dak Prescott would have predicted the Cowboys would have beaten the Eagles AND covered the spread. What? I’m just saying is all, not trying to create any undue controversy with the Cowboys.
This week, the Eagles (+2.5) are going up the Turnpike to take on the hated New York Giants and their cast of unlikable wide receivers. You’d better believe Mike Missanelli has his Twitter account primed and ready to fire off any number of offensive tweets when Victor Cruz suffers another season ending injury. I’m sure he’ll try to interject some crude racial humor in a “jokey tweet” and then blame it on being Italian.
“Ehhhhhh come on now! Dats just like a my momma used to tweet, I know-a-no better den that! Mama Mia, I am in some a trouble.”
Win/loss prediction results: 3-4
Against the spread: 3-4
But who will make our picks this week…it’s Josh Huff! Take it away Josh!
Wait…what? He got cut? The Eagles cut him? For what? Weed and guns? Ahhh, come on Josh, you’re KILLING us right now. I mean, you were awful on the field, but when you fuck with the Coggin Toboggan you make an enemy for life, my friend. A BIG ENEMY.
We’ll haunt you till the day you die. YOU’LL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN (obviously).
Damnit, who can we got on such short notice for this week’s picks??
“I’m out of the clink and I’m coming for you, Toboggan. Didn’t think I saw those ‘columns’ you wrote that supposedly came from me, did ya? I was able to trade 15 minutes of internet time in the common room for several sessions of a particular “service” I became quite adept at during my prison time. I became quite popular for what I offered my fellow prisoners, believe you me.
And that service I was offering them was DEALS OF A LIFETIME ON THE TOUGHEST TICKETS TO GET IN SPORTS!
I can’t tell you how many “packages” I sold to the boys in Cell Block 15. They are assured of the finest travel to and from their super bowl of choice. It’s GUARANTEED.
The wails of those who I have wronged haunt me in my dreams. I can’t sleep, I tell you, they won’t let me sleep!
WHY WON’T THEY JUST LET ME DIE.
Eagles 28, Giants 10.