It’s official, the Eagles are worse than the stomach flu


The face that launched a thousand buckets of puke yesterday.

My kid has had the stomach flu since Wednesday. This house has been filled with puke, shit, tears, and all sorts of horrendous bodily fluids since early last week, some of them even from him.

Whether or not the puking/shitting was caused by him actually watching the first quarter of the game with me is yet to be determined.

Good LORD that was terrible. Doug Pederson basically had a stroke on the sidelines and decided to leave 6-points on the field in a crucial NFC East game and now the Eagles are where they belong, in the mother fucking basement.

Tending to my son yesterday during the game, I realized I would rather tend to a 7-month-old kid shitting and puking his brains out than watch this unlikable team and their hayseed brained coach.

We all know the roster of mistakes. Two field goals left on the field, instead choosing to run two very low odd plays on 4th and 1. Even when they converted a fourth down (the one late in the game) it was the wrong decision.

Douggy P is basically Andy Reid lite (to be fair, though, anyone is considered lite when compared to Andy Reid) without the ability to draw up a decent game plan. They both have zero in-game ability to think on the fly, have no time management skills (why not take a timeout before the 2 minute warning in the fourth, Doug?) and make befuddling challenges at the worst times.

Unfortunately, the teams not that much better. Can we have one week where two members of secondary don’t run into each other and give up a touchdown? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

Stupid mother fucker Nigel Bradham face-palms Odell Beckham Jr. right in front of the refs and earned a well-deserved personal foul. Nelson Agholor continues to try and catch a football by clapping his tiny hands together and closing his eyes when the ball comes within five yards of him like a 6-year-old girl. Carson Wentz loves to throw overthrown 5-yard passes directly to linebackers….

It all remains very troubling and the Eagles make me sick.

Hopefully I’ll contract the flu before the next game and be too weak to raise my head and watch the Eagles lose on Sunday.

We can all only be so lucky.

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