Philadelphia

Why was Allen Iverson wearing the David Puddy 8-Ball jacket at the Sixers game?

Great win yesterday by the Sixers. Just an absolute trouncing of the LeBron led Los Angeles Lakers, showcasing a new and improved roster that has yet to gel but it still throttling less talented teams with more scoring options than this franchise has ever seen.

And yet, all I want to talk about this morning is Allen Iverson wearing the EXACT REPLICA of David Puddy’s 8-ball jacket from Seinfeld.

It’s not even a matter of it looking “similar” … it is the exact same jacket David Puddy wore during the end credits of the Season 9, episode 12 classic “The Reverse Peephole” in the television series Seinfeld.

The exact same one. Look at it.

I have so many questions that need answers.

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Just when I thought I was out on the Flyers, they pull me back in

I admit it. My eyes have been wandering and I’ve found myself lingering for a few brief moments on Comcast, taking in a glimpse or two of the Flyers on this 8-game win streak.

I swore I wouldn’t. I swore I had cast off this franchise until changes were made, until they veered away from the status quo that has mired them in futility for DECADES, save a miraculous Stanley Cup run 9-years ago.

But I’m cracking…I cursed this franchise earlier in the season, last year, the year before, citing that they every season for the past 10 years they were always “two-years away” from relevance.

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The 2019 All-Philadelphia Royal Rumble

This Sunday the WWE is hosting its best pay-per-view  every year, as the ROYAL RUMBLE marches its way into our hearts.

For those unfamiliar with the concept, a “Royal Rumble” consists of 20 to 30 wrestlers entering the ring every two minutes. The entrants are eliminated when thrown over the top rope, and the final man (or woman) standing wins the event and gets to headline Wrestlemania.

What better way to honor the WWE’s best show by putting on our own knock-off event with far less athletic and far, FAR-LESS famous contestants? SOUNDS FUN TO ME!

Of course, as its done the past three years in a row, The Coggin Toboggan hosts its own annual All-Philadelphia Royal Rumble, inviting 30 of the most ruthless and knuckle dragging competitors to bash each others brains in for minimal glory and absolutely no prize money.

Is it bloody? You bet. Are concussions a plenty? Oh my yes. Take a look at Howard Eskin and tell me he’s the same guy today after taking a rusty barb wire covered baseball bat to dome from an enraged John Chaney. Is it barbaric? Well, they don’t call Les Bowen pretty no-more after getting his face ripped apart by Marcus Hayes wielding a cheese grater.

Last year, a masked Mike Trout secretly entered and won the Rumble, much to the delight of the gin soaked crowd. Ben Simmons was betrayed by Jay Wright, Paul Jolovitz landed his first ever offensive move, and Tina Fey bit the jugular out of Bill Cosby in a moment that will haunt the poor souls who witnessed it until the day they die. Great times were had by all!

Thirty of the most ruthless competitors have cast their lot with us to become an immortal champion for the city of Philadelphia. We’ve written a short bio for each, given each an entrance song and a trademark maneuver we feel is appropriate for their particular skillset.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 2019 All-Philadelphia Royal Rumble. May god have mercy on our souls.

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The end of an Eagles season and the start to a lot of Eagles questions

The Coggin Toboggan is officially a Chiefs fan site now. Just bathe us in red and gold, we’re all in the on the Chiefs and big Andy capturing that elusive Super Bowl ring. He deserves it more than any of the remaining three teams still in this god forsaken playoff stretch.

After the first Super Bowl in franchise history, the Eagles fell short in the Divisional Round against the #1 seed Saints, 20-14. It was a little colder this morning, a little grayer, at the thought of the Saints moving on to fake the Rams in the NFC Championship.

You have to hand it to the Saints. They put up 20 points against a completely battered defense that was down to playing Linc stadium security in the secondary against a hall of fame quarterback.

It’s fine. The balm of Super Bowl LII takes the sting out of another playoff loss. Sure, it burns a little more that fat boy Sean Payton beat them again after running up the score earlier this year, but it is what it is.

We can all take solace in the idea of him suffering some sort of cardiac event leading up to the NFC championship. Nothing serious, but just a little something to really put the fear of god into him. It seems only fair.

But the end of the road puts the Eagles firmly onto the Turnpike of Questions. This roster, suddenly, is on rocky ground.

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Hey Eagles, you want this Evan Turner signed mini-ball? Win three fucking games

Well well well, Sean Payton, two can play at this game.

Fat boy Sean Payton reportedly wheeled $265,000 and the Lombardi Trophy into a meeting this week, challenging his team to win “three fucking games” if they wanted the trophy and the Super Bowl victory bonus.

Some would call it a masterclass in motivation. Others would call it a cheap ploy to garner attention by a chubby coach who has done less with more than any other coach in NFL history.

Well you know what? I don’t see any New Orleans fans offering up anything of sentimental value to their team if they win this Sunday. So the Coggin Toboggan is announcing that we will officially bequeath this Evan Turner signed mini-ball to all members of the Philadelphia Eagles if they win this Sunday.

What an honor!

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Eagles fans are laying waste to opposing NFC North fanbases season by season

Who will be next? Eagles fans have slowly drilled themselves into the brains of opposing NFC North fanbases the past two season, needling their way into the subconsciouses of fans and media as the franchise lays waste to playoff hopes and dreams.

Last year we drove Minnesota fans insane after a small traveling group of fans DARED to do the idiotic SKOL SKOL SKOL chant on the Art Museum steps before the mauling of their beloved Vikings hours later.

Their fans are STILL bitching more than a year later after the Eagles threw their fraud team in the garbage can on way to winning their first Super Bowl (in Minnesota, no less).

Look at this poor bastard. I’d wager he tweets about the Eagles at least once a week through tear-filled, reddened eyes.

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The Eagles are crashing the playoff party and they’re ready to poop in your piano

Uh oh. Uh OH. UH OH……the Eagles have forced their way into the playoffs party and they’re ready to fuck some shit up.

Nobody wanted them in. Nobody thought they were coming in. Everyone was set for a calm and collected first round exit from Kirk Cousins, not a whole lot of mess, not a whole lot of fuss.

The Eagles threw a trashcan through the playoff window a la Cactus Jack and they’re looking for a piano to poop in to completely ruin the party for everyone else.

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