Well, well well. What do we have here? A job opening with 97.5 the Fanatic to be the station’s next programming director? The hunter has become the hunted.
Is there anyone better suited for this position than myself? A blogger with absolutely no experience producing radio programming? A former glue sniffing addict with nothing but a shoddy professional journalism background to lean on? I SUBMIT TO YOU THAT THERE IS NOT.
Sure, I know some employees at the station have recently called me a “coward” and a “joke” on social media, but when I’m the program director they’ll soon learn the meaning of respect through my patented managerial technique of childish name calling and intermittent, girlish sobbing in the men’s room.
I do know that the station needs more discipline. Do you think anyone is going to be taking time off from work to hang out in something called the Meatlocker? NOT ON MY WATCH, YOU AIN’T. That’s valuable Twitter poll publishing time, amigo.
I get it, though. I really do. I’m not deaf to my critics.
They said, “Hey, you tear down, but you never build up. You’re always criticizing, but never offering any solutions. And you’re incredibly handsome and talented, so we’re really just saying all of these mean things out of jealousy.”
You know what? They’re absolutely right. I don’t revel in anyone losing their position at the station, but this is a great opportunity to do some good. I can’t be a blogger for the rest of my life.
This is a chance to work alongside some of the greats in the sports talk radio industry, like…well, no, Tony Bruno isn’t there anymore…but, well, ummm…well it’s a chance to work in the industry!
IT’S TIME TO BE PART OF THE SOLUTION INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY BEING PART OF THE PROBLEM.
I am going to take that studio by the horns and mold it into my own unique image. I’ll be a benevolent, kind ruler, doling out wisdom to the peons worthy of my ruminations as they grovel at my feet and I smite my enemies.
Let’s see what the position entails and why I’m the perfect applicant: