NBC Sports Philadelphia  and 97.5 the Fanatic announced yesterday that Mike Missanelli will be the host of an afternoon show on NBC Sports Philadelphia beginning in 2018. According to a tweet from the station, NBC Sports Philadelphia will simulcast Missanelli’s show each afternoon and will be followed by Philly Sports Talk at 5 p.m.

In related news, I’m very much looking forward to reading NBC Sports Philadelphia’s February 2018 press release about the show being cancelled.

Why? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYYYY is this needed on television? Were fans of Mike Missanelli’s radio show clamoring to see his gigantic noggin on their television screen every afternoon? Isn’t that one of the positives to listening to Missanelli,? You don’t have to look at him? I’m pretty sure that was one of the station’s taglines for his show….”Listen to the Mike Missanelli show every afternoon on 97.5 the Fanatic…at least you don’t have to look at him.”

I get that it will be a low budget, low risk, high reward show, but is this really how you want to kick off 2018? With more Mike Missanelli in our lives.

The city doesn’t need this right now. Depression is at an all time high. Carson Wentz is done for the year, Joel Embiid’s back is mush, and Mike Missanelli has a television show. 2017 is not ending well for any of us.

We’re on the verge of nuclear war with North Korea, but frankly I’m not sure what’s worse. On the one hand we may be living in constant fear of a nuclear winter destroying everything we hold dear in our lives, on the other hand….Mike Missanelli.

I think I’d rather spend time in a fallout shelter with my wife and kid than stumble on that moon-faced dolt’s show on NBC Sports Philadelphia. It’s quality family time, at least, and not hate watching a radio show hosted by a relic of the city’s past.

What is the appeal of watching a radio show on television, by the way? This isn’t Howard Stern in the late 90s and we’re not horny teenagers staying up late to watch his show on E! The show became pointless the second we got one of those free AOL CDs in the mail and internet porn became a thing. You don’t have to watch TV for inane sports talk drivel…there’s enough of it available on any sports talk station in the city FOR FREE. You’re going to pay a cable bill to watch Mike Missanelli talk into a microphone for three hours and ask listeners general knowledge trivia questions for gift certificates to Anthony’s Coal Fire Pizza?

I’m surprised the station is dipping its toe back into the sports talk radio world after the Rob Ellis, “Breakfast on Broad” DEBACLE of 2016-2017. The show didn’t last two years, but at least it tried to be something other than a radio show. It was bland, it was boring, but they tried, god damnit. This is just a guy blankly talking into a microphone…WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

Do you see what you make me do, NBC Sports Philadelphia? Do you see what you’ve made me become? I’m openly pining for the days of Rob Ellis having a morning show instead of this nonsense.

May god have mercy on our souls. 2018 is going to suck.