94 WIP

Applying to be the next 97.5 the Fanatic…I’m sorry, I can’t even pretend that’s a good idea

The Fanatic had quite a week. Harry Mayes? LET GO. Eytan Shander? LET GO. Anthony Gargano? DEMOTED. Mike Missanelli? STILL AN ASSHOLE.

By my count, the Fanatic is down to about three on-air hosts, a handful of producers, and countless ad reps desperately trying to re-up their accounts with Anthony’s Coal Fired Pizza before they catch wind of the sinking ship that is the Fanatic.

The station obviously need some new hosts, some new talent to SHAKE UP THE STATUS QUO and tweet out some new and exciting poll questions from the station’s twitter handle for fans to shit all over.

And here’s where I’d normally make a wacky and UTTERLY HILARIOUS fake resume and fake job application to throw my name into the mix for the job. It’s been done. And done again it seems. Just great stuff there. Well played Coggin.

But at this point, is it even realistic anymore to even PRETEND to want to work for the Fanatic? It’s like a curse at this point to work for the station, a horror movie come to life. Everything starts off well, but you know something terrible is going to happen to you before everything is over.

Rumor has it if you say Anthony Gargano’s name three times into a mirror he appears and hands you an iron-clad Fanatic contract and uses your toilet for 45 minutes. I don’t need that evil.

What is the Fanatic doing? Is there any actual personnel strategy to these moves, or is it simply a cost-cutting effort by the sports talk station? Has the hull been breached?

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How many fake twitter accounts has Jon Marks created to insult Mike Missanelli?

As reported by Crossing Broad, Mike Missanelli, paranoid android and 97.5 the Fanatic host, took to the airwaves last Friday afternoon and floated an extremely sane theory about how his former producer, and now 94 WIP host, Jon Marks created fake twitter accounts to criticize his show and spread rumors about the Fanatic’s annual “Fantasy Fest” event.

Missanelli discussed a rumor that “Fantasy Fest” didn’t allow women to attend. Of course women allowed to attend the event, it’s a free country, they can do what they want! Most, however, are smart enough to realize that attending an event with hundreds of BO ridden, drunken sports talk fans isn’t the most entertaining way to spend a Saturday in the summer.

Here’s Missanelli explaining to his show producers how jet fuel can’t sustain a fire hot enough to melt steel girders and how Jon Marks is ruining his life. Please note the very hip and up-to-date slang Missanelli employs to connect with a younger audience (transcript from Crossing Broad):

Mike: “I guarantee you that was started by the other station and their insecurities, because I have seen fake Twitter accounts that rip this show and laud that other show, little Skippy over there that used to be my producer, I’ve been told is behind some fake accounts.”

Tyrone: “Oh!”

Mike: “Yeah.”

Tyrone: “Really?”

Mike: “Yeah. So when you resort to creating fake accounts like Barbara Bottini, to rip the show, that shows a level of desperation. That means you’re a V.L.T.”

Natalie: “A what?”

Mike: “Very little talent.”

Natalie: “Oh”

Tyrone: “That also means that have a PhD, which is a player hater’s degree.”

Mike: “Yeah. Listen, I know you’re desperate, because you are a V.L.T. But come on, fake twitter accounts? Come on.”

I ordered a VLT at a diner the other day…mama mia, you can’t go wrong.

I decided to put on my journalism hat, Ringer style, and delve into the seedy underbelly of Twitter to identify just how many fake Twitter accounts Marks has created to rip Missanelli.

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Angelo Cataldi pimps out CBS3’s Meisha Johnson on Morning Show

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If there’s one thing I know about attractive young women, it’s that they desperately need fat, ugly old men to help them find love in this world.

The skeeviest man in Philadelphia is playing matchmaker this morning with CBS3 anchor/reporter Meisha Johnson, solidifying his legacy as he winds down a legendary career of mild sexual harassment and chicken wing eating contests.

Jowls all a flutter with anticipation, Cataldi tweeted this out at the beginning of the Morning Show.

Sorry Meisha, but I can 100% guarantee you will not find the perfect man if he’s calling into a sports talk radio show at 6 a.m.

I’d check those microphones if I were you, Meisha. Is the show even being recorded? I wouldn’t put it past Cataldi to pull a stunt to get you in studio for hours. If he locks the doors for “security reasons” I’d immediately call 911 and go for his eyes. Gouge away, Meisha, it’s your only chance at escape.

Philadelphia’s finest pitched some woo at Meisha in the responses to Cataldi’s tweet. Let’s rank their chances at love with Meisha after the jump:

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Angelo Cataldi shows up to 94 WIP offices in brand new “Trust the Process” t-shirt

060512-Angelo-Cataldi-400Angelo Cataldi surprised co-workers Monday morning when the host of the 94 WIP Morning Show came into work sporting a black t-shirt adorned with Sam Hinkie’s face and the slogan “Trust the Process” printed across its backside.

Cataldi, who once wrote in a column, “Above all, Hinkie was a loser,” feigned surprised when co-workers questioned his choice of apparel.

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Sputtering, soaked Angelo Cataldi drags self out of ocean after Memorial Day Weekend

012814_angelo_600A soaked and shivering Angelo Cataldi heaved himself out of the Ocean City surf on Sunday evening after concerned beach goers rolled the napping sports talk host into the water to “keep him wet” after fearing he had beached himself.

The 66-year-old 94 WIP sports talk host visited the popular Jersey shore location for Memorial Day Weekend and savored a beach visit during the brisk day. After his wife reportedly left their location for a long walk, the behemoth quickly fell asleep before being noticed by a number of concerned tourists.

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Is Josh Innes vying to replace Anthony Gargano, Maureen Crowley Williams at 97.5?
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Is this the face of the next 97.5 Fanatic Morning Show host?

The rumor mill is a-churning this morning, as an ex-94 WIP sports talk radio host may have thrown his obese sombrero into the ring to replace the disgruntled lover of incredible meats Anthony Gargano, who has not been on the 97.5 Fanatic Morning Show for three straight days now.

Gargano was reportedly upset that producer Maureen “Mr.” Crowley Williams had been fired from the station earlier in the week. Gargano, who has long been rumored to “like like” MCW, has been notably absent from the airwaves since Tuesday.

But a familiar face to the Philadelphia sports talk scene made a splash on social media Wednesday morning. Josh Innes, who previously hosted the midday show at 94 WIP and currently hosts the Josh Innes Show on Sports Talk 790 in Houston, responded to a fan on Twitter Wednesday afternoon and said he would be willing to make a return to the Philadelphia airwaves.

Follow the jump to see the tweet Innes sent out Wednesday:

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94 WIP risks its journalistic integrity, discusses highly controversial Eagles “mock draft”

08d40986-1dba-cfd3-ff75-dad5ce49b42dPerhaps in a desperate attempt to bolster its sliding ratings, 94 WIP threw caution to the wind this morning when Midday host Joe DeCamara decided to discuss, on live air, a controversial NFL mock draft that has been floating around the dark web of the internet for the past week.

For perhaps the first time in the station’s vaunted and respected history, a sports talk show decided to acknowledge and discuss unverified rumors about an upcoming sporting event.

Only previously discussed in hushed tones by journalists behind closed doors, DeCamara brought up the several page document, published by an unknown NFL insider and malcontent at ESPN, which attempted to accurately predict every pick for the seven round draft based on each team’s needs on the field.

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Philadelphia strippers relieved to have most embarrassing day of the year finally over
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The worst moment of any stripper’s career…being a Wingette.

Philadelphia, PA – Strippers throughout the Delaware Valley were able to breathe a sigh of relief this morning after Wing Bowl 25 finally came to a merciful close. The annual eating event has long been described as the most “embarrassing and humiliating” day of the year for women who take their clothes off for money in Philadelphia.

City gentlemen clubs have provided their employees as “Wingettes” for the annual event, much to the horror of the women who actually have to attend Wing Bowl.

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Howie Roseman clarifies reason for Eric Rowe trade: “I didn’t like his jerk-off face”

102813-howie-roseman-600Philadelphia, PA – Howie Roseman commented on his controversial decision to trade cornerback Eric Rowe to the New England Patriots prior to the start of the 2016-2017 season this morning during an appearance on the 94 WIP Morning Show with Angelo Cataldi.

Roseman noted he felt as if he should give the fans an explanation of why Rowe, a second year cornerback that has found success with the Super Bowl bound Patriots, was traded for a 2018 4th round draft pick.

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Seth Joyner should probably stop talking about hitting his kids on the WIP Midday show
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Joyner.

(Editor’s note: This is not part of our usual satire content, but an actual conversation heard on the 94 WIP Midday show this afternoon featuring Seth Joyner that rubbed us the wrong way)

I’m not public relations employee or anything, but it’s probably not a good idea to talk about hitting your kids on a sports talk show.

During a segment this afternoon on the 94 WIP Midday Show, host Jon Ritchie was talking about his ability as a player to channel his anger into motivation to do well on the field with co-host Joe DeCamara and Joyner. Joyner decided it was a perfectly fine opportunity to drop a nonchalant anecdote about why it’s ok to hit your kids.

Here is what Seth said during the segment today (you can hear it here. It starts at the 6:19 point with Jon Ritchie):

Ritchie: Anger used to be rewarded, and maybe that’s changing. That puts these coaches in a difficult situation, and I understand that. Sometimes guys don’t respond the same way as they once did.

Joyner: You know what the problem is? The problem is we’ve got sports psychologists, we got psychiatrists and we got counselors that are advising people in a realm that they don’t really understand, that the way that it used to be isn’t the way that it should be anymore that we need to do it differently. Everything from our kids. Oh, don’t yell at Billy, just put him on timeout and put him in the corner. Don’t yell at Billy, just talk to him. You know?  I can see it, because before my mom passed away, god bless her, I’d take my kids to go see her. I’d be on their ass about something, and she’d be like, ‘Don’t yell at them, talk to them. You don’t have to beat them.’ I’m like, you beat the hell out of me! What are you talking about? It worked for me. Now all of a sudden you want me to talk to them? No, they’re going to get exactly what I got.

Ritchie: Yeah my parents are really nice to my kids. It’s annoying to me how nice my parents are to my kids, but it’s good, I guess.

::Joe DeCamara quickly changes topics::

Maybe he doesn’t think what he said is wrong? I don’t know. I’m sure he doesn’t really beat his kids, but why the joke if he’s joking? Just a really weird thing to say.

Isn’t that basically what got Adrian Peterson kicked out the league for a year? Beating his kid with a switch because it was done to him and that was “all he knew”?

Maybe chill out a bit, Seth, and keep the child hitting anecdotes to yourself.