Anthony Gargano

Let’s take our anger as a city out on the new 97.5 Fanatic show logos

Editor’s Note: I wrote this three weeks ago after the Eagles lost to the Titans. It never got published, but because the Eagles are terrible and sports in this town are a huge pit of sadness, it’s still appropriate. Updated to include the latest Eagles loss. Enjoy.

Things, well, they’re not great right now in Philadelphia. The Eagles are fumbling their way back to ineptitude as Doug Pederson’s deal with the devil expired in the offseason. The Flyers are terrible, the Phillies have a meathead, new wave hippie manager being investigated by the FBI for human trafficking (or something like that, I haven’t been paying attention) and we’re all about to reach our breaking point unless something galvanizes us as a population.

The City of Philadelphia needs to come together, needs to find a target on which to dump gallons of seething anger on; a patsy to absorb the caustic ire bubbling over from hundreds of thousands of fans.

The Eagles are 3-4. Jay Ajayi tore his ACL. Bill Simmons still has his health despite all of our prayers to the contrary. Every city has its limits, and we’re rapidly approaching ours.

We need a punching bag. If only something inconsequential and blatantly terrible could debut during this time of need, something we could rally against and funnel all of this seething hatred towards.

If only….

Oh dear god. Thank you Fanatic, this will do quite nicely.

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Applying to be the next 97.5 the Fanatic…I’m sorry, I can’t even pretend that’s a good idea

The Fanatic had quite a week. Harry Mayes? LET GO. Eytan Shander? LET GO. Anthony Gargano? DEMOTED. Mike Missanelli? STILL AN ASSHOLE.

By my count, the Fanatic is down to about three on-air hosts, a handful of producers, and countless ad reps desperately trying to re-up their accounts with Anthony’s Coal Fired Pizza before they catch wind of the sinking ship that is the Fanatic.

The station obviously need some new hosts, some new talent to SHAKE UP THE STATUS QUO and tweet out some new and exciting poll questions from the station’s twitter handle for fans to shit all over.

And here’s where I’d normally make a wacky and UTTERLY HILARIOUS fake resume and fake job application to throw my name into the mix for the job. It’s been done. And done again┬áit seems. Just great stuff there. Well played Coggin.

But at this point, is it even realistic anymore to even PRETEND to want to work for the Fanatic? It’s like a curse at this point to work for the station, a horror movie come to life. Everything starts off well, but you know something terrible is going to happen to you before everything is over.

Rumor has it if you say Anthony Gargano’s name three times into a mirror he appears and hands you an iron-clad Fanatic contract and uses your toilet for 45 minutes. I don’t need that evil.

What is the Fanatic doing? Is there any actual personnel strategy to these moves, or is it simply a cost-cutting effort by the sports talk station? Has the hull been breached?

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Applying to be the next 97.5 Fanatic programming director

Well, well well. What do we have here? A job opening with 97.5 the Fanatic to be the station’s next programming director? The hunter has become the hunted.

Is there anyone better suited for this position than myself? A blogger with absolutely no experience producing radio programming? A former glue sniffing addict with nothing but a shoddy professional journalism background to lean on? I SUBMIT TO YOU THAT THERE IS NOT.

Sure, I know some employees at the station have recently called me a “coward” and a “joke” on social media, but when I’m the program director they’ll soon learn the meaning of respect through my patented managerial technique of childish name calling and intermittent, girlish sobbing in the men’s room.

I do know that the station needs more discipline. Do you think anyone is going to be taking time off from work to hang out in something called the Meatlocker? NOT ON MY WATCH, YOU AIN’T. That’s valuable Twitter poll publishing time, amigo.

I get it, though. I really do. I’m not deaf to my critics.

They said, “Hey, you tear down, but you never build up. You’re always criticizing, but never offering any solutions. And you’re incredibly handsome and talented, so we’re really just saying all of these mean things out of jealousy.”

You know what? They’re absolutely right. I don’t revel in anyone losing their position at the station, but this is a great opportunity to do some good. I can’t be a blogger for the rest of my life.

This is a chance to work alongside some of the greats in the sports talk radio industry, like…well, no, Tony Bruno isn’t there anymore…but, well, ummm…well it’s a chance to work in the industry!

IT’S TIME TO BE PART OF THE SOLUTION INSTEAD OF CONSTANTLY BEING PART OF THE PROBLEM.

I am going to take that studio by the horns and mold it into my own unique image. I’ll be a benevolent, kind ruler, doling out wisdom to the peons worthy of my ruminations as they grovel at my feet and I smite my enemies.

Let’s see what the position entails and why I’m the perfect applicant:

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SHOCKING: Rhys Hoskins, newest Phillies call-up, can’t recall Eagles 2016 record

 

MiLB: JUL 26 Florida State League - Bradenton Marauders at Clearwater Threshers

Rhys Hoskins is already in hot water with Philadelphia (photo credit: MLB.com)

The Rhys Hoskins era is already off to a tenuous start in Philadelphia.

The eagerly anticipated Phillies call-up fielded questions from reporters this morning, but the first baseman/left fielder found himself in hot water after failing to correctly answer a fluff question from Phillies field reporter Gregg Murphy about the 2016 Eagles record.

“The Eagles start their preseason tonight against the Green Bay Packers, how do you think they’ll do this year?” Murph casually asked the 24-year-old slugger prior to his first organized practice with the team.

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Anthony Gargano rises from Sarcone’s Deli after 3 days, 3 nights to return to 97.5 FM

C9PutbfW0AASBJ3An awestruck Brian Baldinger couldn’t believe his eyes Monday morning upon seeing his partner Anthony Gargano behind the microphone once again at 97.5 FM the Fanatic. Baldinger had last seen Gargano entombed in Sarcone’s Deli, finishing off his second pound of mozzarella cheese while grieving the firing of his producer, Maureen Crowley Williams.

However, after three days and three nights, Baldinger returned to Sarcone’s Deli once again to try to convince Gargano to return to the airwaves, but was surprised when he found his usual corner booth vacant.

Gargano had disappeared, leaving behind only the strips of paper towels he had been using to mop up the grease trapped in his jowls.

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Anthony Gargano returns to 97.5 FM after deep contemplation, binge eating capocollo

C9Z26pEXsAAO__h.jpg97.5 FM Morning Show host Anthony Gargano returned to the air Monday morning after taking several days off last week after the firing of his on-air producer Maureen Crowley Williams.

Gargano and co-host Brian Baldinger both returned to the sports talk station this morning and addressed the elephant in the room right off the bat.

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Is Josh Innes vying to replace Anthony Gargano, Maureen Crowley Williams at 97.5?

Innes_600

Is this the face of the next 97.5 Fanatic Morning Show host?

The rumor mill is a-churning this morning, as an ex-94 WIP sports talk radio host may have thrown his obese sombrero into the ring to replace the disgruntled lover of incredible meats Anthony Gargano, who has not been on the 97.5 Fanatic Morning Show for three straight days now.

Gargano was reportedly upset that producer Maureen “Mr.” Crowley Williams had been fired from the station earlier in the week. Gargano, who has long been rumored to “like like” MCW, has been notably absent from the airwaves since Tuesday.

But a familiar face to the Philadelphia sports talk scene made a splash on social media Wednesday morning. Josh Innes, who previously hosted the midday show at 94 WIP and currently hosts the Josh Innes Show on Sports Talk 790 in Houston, responded to a fan on Twitter Wednesday afternoon and said he would be willing to make a return to the Philadelphia airwaves.

Follow the jump to see the tweet Innes sent out Wednesday:

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