An awestruck Brian Baldinger couldn’t believe his eyes Monday morning upon seeing his partner Anthony Gargano behind the microphone once again at 97.5 FM the Fanatic. Baldinger had last seen Gargano entombed in Sarcone’s Deli, finishing off his second pound of mozzarella cheese while grieving the firing of his producer, Maureen Crowley Williams.
However, after three days and three nights, Baldinger returned to Sarcone’s Deli once again to try to convince Gargano to return to the airwaves, but was surprised when he found his usual corner booth vacant.
Gargano had disappeared, leaving behind only the strips of paper towels he had been using to mop up the grease trapped in his jowls.
Baldinger told several acquaintances that Gargano was no longer in the deli, but was rebuffed each time as many had seen him in the eatery nonstop over the past 72 hours.
When he reached the station, he was overwhelmed when he heard his partner’s velvety voice resurrected once again.
Initially frightened when he saw Gargano in studio, Cuz assured Baldinger that it was indeed him, and encouraged him to touch the fabric of his Brian Dawkins jersey and to look upon his greasy hands as proof.
At press time, when asked if he was still angry at Maureen Crowley Williams being let go from the station, Gargano assured reporters he was over it and proclaimed, “They know not what they do, bo.”
(I’d like to apologize to Jesus Christ for this blasphemy.)