Ike Reese

The 2016 94 WIP vs. 97.5 FM the Fanatic Survivor Series

wwe-survivor-series-ppv-logoThis Sunday, the WWE is hosting its annual Survivor Series PPV, which pits teams of five wrestlers against each other in an elimination match to see which team is the ultimate “survivor.”

This year, due to the WWE’s brand split, teams of Raw wrestlers will be pitted against teams of Smackdown wrestlers at the PPV. Sound nerdy? You bet it. Sound pointless? Oh my yes.

But it got us thinking at the Toboggan….who would win a Survivor Series type match between on-air personalities of the two sports talk radio stations in Philadelphia? NO LOVE LOST BETWEEN THEM, GANG.

This is what we do here at the Toboggan…waste hours of our time thinking of participant entrance songs, trademark maneuvers and alliances for imaginary wrestling events between two radio stations.

On an unrelated note, could anyone suggest a good divorce lawyer?

So here it is. We’ve identified the two teams (each consisting of four participants) and how we think the match would go down. Also, in true WWE Survivor Series fashion, the participants in the match are not necessarily the top performers at either station (though a few familiar faces will be seen).

Ladies and gentlemen, the 2016 Philadelphia Sports Talk Survivor Series.

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Jon Ritchie already bleeding all over the 94 WIP Tastykake Studios

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Just another day at the office for Ritchie.

Philadelphia, PA – Just an hour into his new midday show, former Eagles fullback Jon Ritchie is already bleeding profusely from his forehead and it doesn’t seem as if it will stop anytime soon.

Ritchie and Joe DeCamara are the newest midday hosts for 94 WIP Sports Radio, taking over for former midday show Mike and Ike, featuring Michael Barkann and Ike Reese, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. Reese will host an afternoon drive show in the near future and Barkann was let go from the station.

Around 10:56 a.m., an audible dripping noise could be heard on the audio of the show while the co-hosts were discussing the Eagles victory over the Vikings

Ritchie, a fullback with the Eagles from 2003 to 2004, was known for his excessive forehead bleeding during each game he played.

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What else does 94 WIP’s Ike Reese not believe in?

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Ike….why?

In case you missed it, Crossing Broad transcribed a segment from yesterday’s Mike and Ike show where co-host Ike Reese shared his interesting views on dinosaurs.

More specifically, he let co-host Michael Barkann know that he doesn’t believe in dinosaurs at all. AT ALL.

A flabbergasted city read through the transcripts of the show in disbelief as a grown man threw out such theories as, “I’ve seen movies with cavemen in them” as evidence that cavemen existed and “How do we know they’re not man made”  when he was asked about dinosaur bones.

Here’s how the conversation got started on yesterday’s show (transcription from Crossing Broad):

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94 WIP caller insightfully declares Phillies should trade Howard, Papelbon

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A stunned Mike and Ike still haven’t recovered from the bombshell this morning on their show.

Philadelphia, PA – A caller into the Ike and Mike show this morning turned a radio station, and an entire city, on its head today when he proclaimed the Philadelphia Phillies should “absolutely” trade Ryan Howard and Jonathan Papelbon before the season begins.

Only identifying himself as Tom from Bensalem, the caller declared himself to be a “lifetime” fan of the Phillies and a “long time listener,” but only a first time caller into the morning show. Wasting little time, the analytical and statistical genius declared the Phillies should do everything in their power to trade the two athletes if they were smart and “knew anything about the game.”

It goes without saying, the unique and powerful idea left co-hosts Michael Barkann and Ike Reese nearly speechless.

“Honestly, I don’t know what to say,” Reese said, breathing heavily into the microphone, trying to make sense of the wondrous suggestion. “It’s just, I mean, how did nobody think of this by now? It’s all so simple, of course it needs to be done. I….I just need a few moments here.”

The modern-day Einstein didn’t bask in the adulation for long, declaring both athletes should bring a “hefty return” to the Phillies.

“I mean, think about it dis’ way you guys. Howard makes a lot of money, sure, more than a regular guy like myself, but he hit nearly 60 home runs just a few years ago, you telling me we couldn’t trade him to the Marlins for Giancarlo Stanton? I don’t see why you couldn’t,” he said. “And Papelbon, I mean, he had almost 40 saves last year. Are you telling me we couldn’t trade him back to Boston for that Professor Xavier guy?”

Despite fumbling the name of top Boston prospect Xander Bogaerts, the suggestion nevertheless was welcomed with open arms.

“How are you not working in baseball? This…this is just fabulous,” a stunned Barkann muttered into the microphone. “This is a great day for the City of Philadelphia.”

And just like that, the hero hung up his phone before the two hosts could pick the brain of the greatest baseball mind in the city.

Five minutes later, a frantic Ruben Amaro Jr. reportedly called the station and begged for the number of “that Tom from Bensalem guy.”