Angelo Cataldi and the Morning Show

Angelo Cataldi shows up to 94 WIP offices in brand new “Trust the Process” t-shirt

060512-Angelo-Cataldi-400Angelo Cataldi surprised co-workers Monday morning when the host of the 94 WIP Morning Show came into work sporting a black t-shirt adorned with Sam Hinkie’s face and the slogan “Trust the Process” printed across its backside.

Cataldi, who once wrote in a column, “Above all, Hinkie was a loser,” feigned surprised when co-workers questioned his choice of apparel.

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Rejoice, Wing Bowl fans! Cataldi didn’t see the shadow of his neck jowls!

cataldiRejoice, Wing Bowl fans! Your celebratory day of binge drinking at 5 a.m., watching obese men and Asian women eat chicken wings until the point of death, and screaming “SHOW US YOUR TITS” at Delaware Valley strippers is safe for another six years.

Thousands gathered in front of the Wawa on 9th and Walnut to celebrate the 25th annual Jowl Day Tradition. As legend has it, if noted flip-flopper and slob Angelo Cataldi comes out of the Wawa after gorging himself on sticky buns and Butterscotch Krimpets and sees the shadow of his impressive neck jowls, he’ll retreat back into the convenience store and Wing Bowl will be cancelled for the next six years. If the gin-soaked host does not see his neck jowl shadow, Wing Bowl is safe for another six years.

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Howie Roseman clarifies reason for Eric Rowe trade: “I didn’t like his jerk-off face”

102813-howie-roseman-600Philadelphia, PA – Howie Roseman commented on his controversial decision to trade cornerback Eric Rowe to the New England Patriots prior to the start of the 2016-2017 season this morning during an appearance on the 94 WIP Morning Show with Angelo Cataldi.

Roseman noted he felt as if he should give the fans an explanation of why Rowe, a second year cornerback that has found success with the Super Bowl bound Patriots, was traded for a 2018 4th round draft pick.

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Isn’t Ric Flair attending Wing Bowl one of the seven signs of the apocalypse?

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WOOOOOO! It’s the end of days!

According to the Book of Revelations, there will be seven signs that the world is close to calling it quits and entering the apocalypse.

With the announcement that Ric Flair will be attending Wing Bowl, I think we’re one step closer today.

I’m no theologist, but I’m fairly sure that the Bible says the first sign of the Apocalypse is Ric Flair attending Wing Bowl in Philadelphia.

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Angelo Cataldi to decrease pork consumption to just 10 portions a week while Colin Kaepernick starts

060512-Angelo-Cataldi-400Angelo Cataldi is taking a stand against San Francisco 49ers Head Coach Chip Kelly’s decision to bench quarterback Blaine Gabbert in favor of Colin Kaepernick, who has drawn national attention to his National Anthem protests this season.

The boisterous 94 WIP Morning Host said he would also take a stand and protest Kaepernick’s presence on the football field.

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Fat, ugly old man expresses displeasure at SI Swimsuit plus-size model

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Gahhhhhh!

Ghoulish, gargoyle-like radio host Angelo Cataldi expressed his utter disappointment at Sports Illustrated’s decision to place plus-size model Ashley Graham on the cover of its annual swimsuit edition during a segment of the WIP Morning show today.

Clutching a microphone in his liver spotted, gnarled hand, Cataldi wondered as to how this may have happened.

Cataldi discussed the publication’s decision to put Graham on the cover, spitting tiny flecks of his morning repast over his microphone cover, filling the studio with his halitosis¬† as he decried the state of the publication’s once revered swimsuit issue.

The ghastly looking host leered at several young female interns and remarked how he would much rather see them in a bikini over Graham, as he picked at several scabs on his dry scalp before concluding his show.

At press time, Cataldi asked his co-hosts if they thought Graham had any respect for her own body, while at the same time he eagerly picked off a fungus ridden toenail that had been “hanging on by a thread” for the past several weeks.

WINGETTE RIOT UPDATE: Mayor Kenney orders implosion of WFC

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All that remains of the Wells Fargo Center.

Philadelphia, Pa – The Wingette Riot of 2016 has ended following orders from new Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney to implode the Wells Fargo Center, sealing the violent Wingettes in a tomb of rubble and chicken wings for all eternity.

The implosion commenced after a Philadelphia SWAT team determined the scene was too violent and dangerous to enter. All Wing Bowl attendees were evacuated before the Wells Fargo Center was demolished.

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