Ashley Graham

Jowly man with thinning hair plugs also does not care for SI Swimsuit plus-size model


Philadelphia, PA – Continuing a long established tradition of ugly as sin radio hosts having problems with attractive plus-size models being on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition, jowly senior-citizen Mike Missanelli today decried the fact that Ashley Graham DARED to appear on the hallowed ground that is the SI Swimsuit cover.

The sunken eyed goon went on the rant against Graham during his 97.5 Fanatic afternoon show just hours after the ghoulish, gargoyle like Angelo Cataldi said virtually the same thing during his morning show on 94 WIP.

Citing that he could see “curvy women at work,” Missanelli worked himself into a froth as his mighty jowls audibly slapped against his double chin during the segment. The wrinkled mass of cellulite and gabagool said it was disrespectful to the history of the SI swimsuit issue, while his turkey neck swung hypnotically for all to see.

Onlookers noted clumps of Missanelli’s cheap hair plugs began to fall out all over his desk and microphone during the rant.

At press time, Missanelli said SI should adhere to higher standards and respect themselves more in the future, while simultaneously sending a homophobic email to a critic and another series of sexist tweets to Michelle Beadle.

Fat, ugly old man expresses displeasure at SI Swimsuit plus-size model



Ghoulish, gargoyle-like radio host Angelo Cataldi expressed his utter disappointment at Sports Illustrated’s decision to place plus-size model Ashley Graham on the cover of its annual swimsuit edition during a segment of the WIP Morning show today.

Clutching a microphone in his liver spotted, gnarled hand, Cataldi wondered as to how this may have happened.

Cataldi discussed the publication’s decision to put Graham on the cover, spitting tiny flecks of his morning repast over his microphone cover, filling the studio with his halitosis¬† as he decried the state of the publication’s once revered swimsuit issue.

The ghastly looking host leered at several young female interns and remarked how he would much rather see them in a bikini over Graham, as he picked at several scabs on his dry scalp before concluding his show.

At press time, Cataldi asked his co-hosts if they thought Graham had any respect for her own body, while at the same time he eagerly picked off a fungus ridden toenail that had been “hanging on by a thread” for the past several weeks.