Hey Colin Kaepernick, do you really want to get back into the NFL? Are you looking for a solution that will bring you back into the good graces of NFL owners?
Forget about cutting your afro, it’s not just about your hair. You have to go all in and start a dog fighting ring if you want to be brought back into the National Football League.
You’ve got to be like Mike, Kaep. You need to follow the Michael Vick reclamation program if you ever want to play in the NFL again.
Forget about raising $1 million for charity, that’s not getting you anywhere. Meals on Wheels donations? Fuck em’. You need to go all in like Michael Vick, round up as many dogs as you can get your hands on, and organize the most violent, sophisticated dog-fighting ring that this country has ever seen.