Angelo Cataldi is taking a stand against San Francisco 49ers Head Coach Chip Kelly’s decision to bench quarterback Blaine Gabbert in favor of Colin Kaepernick, who has drawn national attention to his National Anthem protests this season.
The boisterous 94 WIP Morning Host said he would also take a stand and protest Kaepernick’s presence on the football field.
Each week that Kaepernick starts, Cataldi vowed to decrease his pork consumption to a measly 10 portions a week until the world took notice.
“As long as that jackass is on the field, I will deprive myself of the juicy pork chops, sausage links, hotdogs, ham steaks, bacon, Canadian bacon, pork belly, suckling pig, pulled pork, barbecued pork, pork roasts, pig roasts, pig feet, pork cracklins, pork rinds, pig jowls, bratwurst, smoked pork, gammon, glazed pork loin, pork ribs, fatback, backfat, trotters, and all of the other pork products that my body needs to stay at peak, tip-top condition,” the sweating, out of breath Cataldi said during Wednesday’s morning show.
Cataldi said he would limit his pork intake to just 10 portions a week, far down from his usual consumption of close to 50 pounds of pork products each week.
“He wants to protest America? I’ll protest him. It worked for Ghandi, why won’t it work for me?” Cataldi said.
At press time, Hatfield Quality Meats in Lancaster declared a “state of emergency” for company stockholders and laid off 500 employees to counterbalance the potential loss of revenue.
Cataldi’s heart and clogged arteries also released a statement after he revealed his forthcoming plans:
While we are pleased Angelo has decided to limit his pork intake, we strongly urge him to also limit his gravy intake to at least three cans a day and no more.