Michael Vick

Colin Kaepernick shouldn’t cut his afro, but he should start a dog fighting ring


(Photo credit: sportingnews.com)

Hey Colin Kaepernick, do you really want to get back into the NFL? Are you looking for a solution that will bring you back into the good graces of NFL owners?

Forget about cutting your afro, it’s not just about your hair.  You have to go all in and start a dog fighting ring if you want to be brought back into the National Football League.

You’ve got to be like Mike, Kaep. You need to follow the Michael Vick reclamation program if you ever want to play in the NFL again.

Forget about raising $1 million for charity, that’s not getting you anywhere. Meals on Wheels donations? Fuck em’. You need to go all in like Michael Vick, round up as many dogs as you can get your hands on, and organize the most violent, sophisticated dog-fighting ring that this country has ever seen.


Michael Vick thrilled to not be the most detested quarterback on roster

Michael+Vick+Close+UpPittsburgh, PA – Minutes after signing a one-year deal with the Pittsburgh Steelers, Michael Vick pointed a finger skyward and thanked God he could finally blend into the roster and not be the most hated member of a professional football organization.

Vick, of course, pled guilty in 2007 for his role in the Bad Newz Kennels dog fighting scandal. The kennel had over 70 dogs seized in a massive search of Vick’s sprawling estate by local, state and federal authorities.

Vick was given a second chance in the league when signed by the Philadelphia Eagles in 2009. Protestors and critics followed Vick to New York City for his stint with the Jets, lambasting the organizations for signing the controversial figure.

All of that was whisked away when he signed a one-year deal Tuesday afternoon with the Pittsburgh Steelers.

ESPN NFL analyst John Clayton said the signing “is great for Michael Vick, but I’m not so sure what the Steelers are getting out of this.”

“Basically, let me put it this way. If you’re Pol Pot quarterbacking a football team, you’re going to be hated by just about everyone. However, if Pol Pot gets traded to a football team quarterbacked by Hitler, well then hey, Pol Pot’s not such a bad guy all of a sudden.”