KJ McDaniels

76ers down to four players on active roster

sam

I need more second round picks…I desire them.

Philadelphia, PA – After a flurry of activity at the trading deadline yesterday, the 76ers are down to four active players on the roster for tonight’s game vs. the Indiana Pacers.

“Perhaps we went a bit overboard after we traded Michael Carter Williams, KJ McDaniels, Robert Covington, Luc Mbah a Moute, Nerlens Noel, Henry Sims, Hollis Thompson, Joel Embiid, Henry Sims and Jason Richardson for three first round picks and 37 second round picks in the 2015 to 2035 NBA draft,” GM Sam Hinkie said today.

The only remaining players on the 76ers roster are JaVale McGee, Tony Wroten (injured), Andrei Kirilenko (has yet to appear in a game), and Jerami Grant. A D-league player from the Houston Rockets was included in the bevy of deals, but has refused to step foot in the Philadelphia locker room for fear of being traded again.

“We have assets, oh so many assets. Just think of what we could trade with these second round picks….maybe we could get more second round picks!” Hinkie said excitedly, as his underlings looked nervously at each other.

Several sources from the 76ers front office have expressed fear that Hinkie has become mad with power. After the deadline passed, Hinkie was found in his office speaking into a telephone that was clearly not plugged in.

“He was trying to trade Franklin the Dog (the 76ers new mascot) for a new emcee to announce the games. We had to put a stop to this,” A source said.

To round out the roster for the next game, the 76ers announced they would select a lucky fan from the crowd prior to tipoff to start at point guard.

Oh my sweet jesus

sam“3…2…1”

Skyscraper-demolished_295

sam

“Fuck yeah.”

What the hell just happened?! Who is on the 76ers anymore…I’m so confused. Can they even field five players for the next game? KJ McDaniels and MCW gone. Excuse me while I go throw up in the mens room for the next three hours. Hinkie, you mad genius, you may have gone TOO far after you obviously read my fabulous column about the 76ers being the most exciting team in the city.

You magnificent bastard.

Editor’s Note: I love the 76ers

kj-mcdaniels

KJ McDaniels throwing down a vicious dunk over old geezers Angelo Cataldi and Howard Eskin.

When The Coggin Toboggan wants to get serious it turns its coverage over to its editor and founder to bring everything to a screeching halt. Goodbye funny, say hello to self pity and depression.

At this moment, Wednesday, Feb. 18, the Philadelphia 76ers are by far the most entertaining sports franchise in this city, and definitely in the best position moving forward. It’s much more exciting to watch a team developing a group of young, energetic players than pretend to care about the Phillies upcoming season or watch the Flyers struggle to fall into the last playoff spot in the Eastern Conference.

For a team that many thought wouldn’t win more than 10 games this season, it’s hard to deny the team actually has a bright future, though many can’t see it at the moment.

Don’t listen to Angelo Cataldi or Howard Eskin, who regularly call out 76ers GM Sam Hinkie for his out of the box strategy. He’s actually DOING something with this team, instead of wallowing in the 7th and 8th seed of the Eastern Conference playoffs year after year. My memory isn’t too great, but I don’t recall Cataldi or Eskin crowing over the 2008-2009 76ers and their 41-41 record, which culminated in a first round exit to the Orlando Magic. I’m fairly sure CataldiĀ didn’t talk for entire segments about how inspiring and entertaining Willie Green played during that year.

Also, as I recall the two were kicking the 76ers for not drafting Doug McDermott, passing him over for Dario Saric. Saric hasn’t played a game for the 76ers, but was recently named the MVP of the Euroleague. Doug McDermott is averaging 3 points a game for the Bulls, plays about 9 minutes a game and has recently been seen kicking kittens down the sidewalk of the street he lives on (may not have happened). That’s not going to vault your team into the upper stratosphere of the NBA.

Watching young guys on this team who wouldn’t get a chance or the minutes on other squads is the most entertaining aspect of Philadelphia sports right now. Would Robert Covington get a chance to play anywhere else? Nope. He just played in the Rising Stars game over All-Star weekend. KJ McDaniels is getting more minutes than he would see anywhere else. Better to have him playing now than rotting on the bench behind someone like Jason Richardson.

Hinkie is like a guy who is smart enough to reset his Playstation when his Madden team is being blown out by 56 points in the first half against the computer. Something’s not working, so it’s time to start something different. It will take more time, but why keep playing the same way with the same results when you’re doomed to failure? It’s time to reset and start throwing up 50 yard hail mary’s on fourth down, calling for triple reverses and kicking onside kicks after every TD.

Lets remember these points in three years when the 76ers are one of the top three teams in the East so we can systematically boo Eskin and Cataldi off the radio when they try to jump on the bandwagon.