Philadelphia 76ers

It’s time for the 76ers to be transparent and say what’s going on with Markelle Fultz

Ho hum. Another week, another scathing controversy/conspiracy brewing about the Philadelphia 76ers.

What’s next? Are we a day away from 76ers CEO Scott O’Neil being found complicit in the JFK assassination? Is Brett Brown really DB Cooper? Is Joel Embiid’s success all a “Jacob’s Ladder” scenario that we’re experiencing during our last moments on our death bed?

For a yet unknown reason (be it the way the planets are aligned, the wind is blowing, or if a full moon is on the horizon) at the direction of his attorney Markelle Fultz is being pulled  from all 76ers activity until he sees a shoulder specialist next week.

The strange, sad saga of Fultz has taken yet another strange, sad turn.

No practices. No games. Nothing until Fultz is seen by whatever hack specialist he’s being shoveled off to now.

Oddly enough, Fultz has said nothing about his health this season. He’s said on multiple occasions that he feels “good” and publicly bristled when ex-shooting coach Drew Hanlen said he wasn’t healthy.

Here he is on Nov. 6th saying how good his shot feels.

 

 

 

He had opportunity last night to say he was injured. He did not.

So what changed from then to now? How have we gone from a happy-go-lucky, yet struggling, Markelle Fultz to this:

 

 

Is he hurt? Is his shoulder still bothering him? Is he and his team peeved that Brett Brown gave his minutes to TJ McConnell last night?

Now is the time, 76ers, to finally come clean and tell us what you know about Fultz.

Is he hurt?

Was he injured in a BMX accident after he was drafted?

Why is he being sent to a shoulder specialist after assuring everyone he was healthy?

Why did he so publicly split with Drew Hanlen?

Is he upset with being benched for TJ McConnell?

How much of a say do the people around Markelle have on this decision?

All of these questions have been asked by the 76ers beat reporters. None of them have been answered.

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Good news everyone! Mike Lombardi has blessed Markelle Fultz!

What a morning! The sun is shining (it isn’t), the birds are chirping (they’re not, they’re all frozen) and Mike Lombardi, the purveyor of the least correct comment/take about Philadelphia sports in the history of sports talk, is oiling up his disgusting old-man foot in preparation to firmly lodge it in his mouth yet again.

We have truly been blessed, Philadelphia.

Last night, while likely taking a moment out of his nightly routine of applying generous dollops of lanolin oil over every inch of his wrinkled, musty body, Lombardi must have tuned into the 76ers victory over the Charlotte Hornets and run afoul of a sight he just couldn’t abide.

Why……there was Markelle Fultz, the still “injured” 76ers point guard, DARING to show his face on the television broadcast, wasting valuable moments he could have been in the trainers room balancing his scapular muscle or studying film! He needed to share his displeasure, to alert the masses of god fearing sports fans of this GHASTLY affront to everything good and pure about basketball.

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Is the Philadelphia media failing Markelle Fultz?

If you watched the Blue/White 76ers scrimmage yesterday from the Palestra than you’re likely trying to come to terms with some unpleasant facts. The highly coveted #1 overall pick was anything but Sunday afternoon. Where were the head turning highlights we expect from a franchise changing prospect that Bryan Colangelo had to give up a boatload to draft? All we saw yesterday was a few mid-range jumpers, some technically sound passes, and an affable attitude from one of the supposed “top talents” on the roster.

Where were the rim rattling dunks? The no-look passes? The triple doubles? The buzzer beaters and the killer attitude? Is this what the 76ers gave up a boatload of picks for? Those picks could have possibly been used to draft the NEXT Markelle Fultz. They’re valuable assets.

Instead we saw someone who wasn’t giving 100% out there. I didn’t see him set any jaw-rattling screens or take any violent charges to give his squad a leg up. We didn’t see any of those.

Instead we saw Fultz help Ben Simmons up from the floor after the two collided at mid court halfway through the scrimmage. Are you going to do that in a game that counts, Markelle? Help up an opponent in the heat of battle?

My JV basketball coach always told us that “You play like your practice.” He was a wise man and I’m sure he was shaking his head in disgust at what he saw yesterday.

Fultz evidently does not yet have what it takes to succeed in this city, so why isn’t the media letting him know it?

Instead of hearing it from the front page of the Inquirer sports section, this young man is being trumped up as a franchise savior by the Philadelphia media.  In years past they’d be nitpicking this young man to death for “not showing enough” in his first appearance in front of the hometown heavies.

It’s called tough love and it helped shape so many of this city’s past greats into the legends they became.

Donovan McNabb. Charles Barkley. Eric Lindros. Mike Schmidt. Ask them and they’ll tell you that the reporters, journalists, and sports talk hosts in this city are 100% what made them into the hall of fame players they became, not their natural talent. They had to learn how to play in this city, and it made them better athletes, and more importantly, better men.

But not Fultz. Suddenly this town has kid gloves when it comes to handling the #1 overall pick.

Take this, for instance. Last week during media day Fultz spent an inordinate amount of time neglecting his media duties, choosing to eat Chick-Fil-A instead. Last I heard, Chick-Fil-A isn’t exactly part of a balanced diet for a highly-tuned athlete. Do you think Chip Kelly would have stood for this if he were still around? Say what you will about his tenure, but those Eagles were in tip-top condition.

But what does the media do? Does the hard-nailed Philadelphia sports media take the young Fultz to task and teach him a valuable lesson? Nope. It enables the youngsters obsession with fast food and makes a joke of it.

Where is the Philadelphia sports media I used to know that would nitpick every decision he makes and attribute it to his play on the court? Where are the sports talk hosts that would criticize everything a player did 24 hours a day, and then claim the athlete “doesn’t know what Philadelphia is about” when he dared to question the media’s negative portrayal of him?

It’s gone, and it’s instead replaced with this:

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What asinine questions will Rob Ellis and Harry Mayes ask LaVar Ball? A gambler’s guide

ellisandmayesheadshot2hero1Harry Mayes and Rob Ellis announced today on Twitter that LaVar Ball, father of NBA rookie Lonzo Ball, would be joining their show in the afternoon for what will NO DOUBT be a groundbreaking interview that won’t have listeners turning off their radios across the Delaware Valley at record setting paces.

Day late and a dollar short, fellas. I’m sure a producer burst into Rob Ellis’s office this morning, too frazzled to speak clearly, to tell hi about his big “get.”

Producer: “Mr. Ellis…I….I…..oh god, give me a second.”

Ellis: “This had better be good, god damnit, to interrupt me during my personal reflection period.” (puts down an old Breakfast on Broad script, wipes the tears away from his cheeks)

Producer: “I just got off the phone with LaVar Ball’s people. Yes, THE LaVar Ball. He can do the show.”

Ellis: “The annoying has been father that has worn out his 15 minutes of fame with every media outlet across the country?”

Producer: “The very one.”

Ellis (looks up silently to the ceiling): “This is the moment I have been working towards my entire life. Leave me be, I must prepare my cliched and unoriginal line of questioning that every sports talk host across the globe has already lobbed at this moon faced dullard. ”

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New 76ers nickname confirmed by the source, officially “Right said FREDS”

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We don’t make the rules, Philadelphia. The 76ers official nickname is no longer The Feds, but has been changed to Right said FREDS: Too Sexy for this Game (Fultz, Redick, Embiid, Dario, Simmons).

It’s not up to me. We entered into a pact with Right Said Fred, and that’s a pact we will take to our GRAVES.

Bow down to the 2017-2018 Philadelphia 76ers, the Right said FREDS: Too sexy for this game.

So it has passed, so it shall be.

I hate the 76ers trade for the #1 pick

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Like Robert Johnson at the crossroads, this blog has a life changing decision to make. Which direction does our blog take? Do we take the deal with the devil, or do we forge another path?

This brings us to the reported trade 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo pulled off over the weekend. Giving the Boston Celtics the #3 pick this year and either the 2018 Lakers 1st round pick or the 2019 Sacramento 1st round pick for the #1 overall pick this year and the rights to draft Markelle Fultz?

I hate this trade. Absolutely despise it.

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Colangelo scratches Fultz off of draft list after WIP caller declares him a bust
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Does Markelle Fultz lack the necessary “grit” and “toughness” to make it in this city?

A WIP caller known only as “Philly Mike” declared Washington point guard and potential 76ers draft target Markelle Fultz as a “complete bust in the making” this afternoon, which forced GM Bryan Colangelo to fervently rework his draft prospects for the upcoming draft.

Colangelo’s draft board was thrown into complete disarray after the 2-minute call into the 94 WIP Midday show, in which “Philly Mike” denounced Fultz’s ability to be “Philadelphia tough” and lacked the necessary grit to ever be a key contributor for the 76ers.

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Bryan Colangelo able to get out of serving in NBA draft lottery after his father pulls a few strings

20160505_colangelo_article2Despite being eligible for attendance, Bryan Colangelo is shirking his GM duties after father Jerry Colangelo greased a few palms in the league front office to keep his son out of the NBA Draft Lottery.

Instead of being in attendance at the draft Tuesday night, Colangelo will serve in the NBA ticket sales office for two weekends a month for the next year.

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ST. PATRICK’S DAY REPORT: Joel Embiid has been vomiting corned beef for the last hour

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Philadelphia, PA – Injured 76ers center Joel Embiid has reportedly been lying face down in his apartment bathroom for the past hour, intermittently raising his giant frame to expel copious amounts of corned beef into his toilet.

Varying accounts claim that Embiid arose at the break of dawn and started to cook several bricks of the salty, cured meat that has become eponymous to the Irish and the celebration of St. Patrick’s Day.

Embiid reportedly began to eat the first slab of corned beef, alone at his kitchen table, at 8 a.m. this morning in complete silence. After polishing off the entire brick of fatty, marbled meat, he took a second out of the boiling pot of water and retreated, again in silence, to his table.

After successfully eating more than eight pounds of the Irish delicacy, Embiid excused himself from his kitchen and retired to the bathroom, where he has been retching nonstop for the past hour.

At press time, Embiid was able to calm himself for a brief moment as he rummaged through his bathroom cabinets, procured a “kiss me I’m Irish” hat from underneath his sink, placed it atop his head, and then returned to the task at hand.

 

BREAKING NEWS: John Chaney chokes out Jahlil Okafor at Philadelphia airport

i_chaney_iJahlil Okafor was out before he even touched the ground.

76ers center Okafor is reportedly recovering at Jefferson  University Hospital after a reported attack by legendary Temple Owls coach John Chaney after the team charter touched down this morning at Philadelphia international airport.

Eyewitnesses reported Chaney jumped Okafor as the dour center walked through the terminal with several members of the 76ers coaching staff.

Chaney allegedly slipped an arm around the neck of Okafor and hooked his other arm around the young man’s biceps, slowly choking him out as the elderly coach dragged him to the terminal floor.

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