Rob Ellis

Rob Ellis and Mike Missanelli blaming millennials for the decline of Philadelphia sports is hell on earth

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The beast of hell walks among us in the clothes of a common man. If the demon should reveal its true face to you at a time when you have turned away from Christ, then you will be without protection, & it will gleefully devour your heart & rend you limb from limb & carry your immortal soul into the yawning pit.

I have foreseen how I will die. I have had a vision of my undoing. An overweight, out of touch jowly man and his sniveling, bland, milquetoast toadie disembowel me while opining about the shortcomings of the millennial generation.

So it shall be, so it shall pass.

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Embarrassed Rob Ellis ejaculates before he can predict week 5 of Eagles 2017-2018 schedule

rob-ellisMoments after predicting an Eagles victory of the San Diego in week four to improve their record to 4-0 on the year, 97.5 Fanatic Midday show host Rob Ellis stiffened his hips and then groaned erotically on-air before he could begin delving into the week 5 match-up against the Arizona Cardinals.

For several minutes after, listeners were treated to Ellis’s deep, contended breathing and nothing more.

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Is it too late to get that Breakfast on Broad mug I was promised MONTHS AGO?

bob2By now you’ve probably heard that the cornerstone of morning sports shows in Philadelphia, Breakfast on Broad, may be on its last legs. WHAT A FALL FROM GRACE!

Young, dynamic hot shot Rob Ellis overwhelmed the hearts and minds of this city 20 months ago. Not a single pair of soccer mom panties weren’t SOPPING after Ellis invaded their kitchen nooks each morning. The ladies swooned, the men wished they were him, and the city was his oyster.

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Breakfast on Broad spec script, my ticket to the bigs

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Now we’re in the big time.

So we’re about a year and change into the Coggin Toboggan and I have to admit that I figured by now I would be living the high life. Fame, fortune, women….oh my goodness the women, nothing turns a woman on more than a man who runs a successful blog.

But here we are and nothing has changed. Sure I live in a lovely home, have a great wife and a kid on the way, but somethings missing.

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Editor’s Note: Congrats to Kimmo, but where’s our cup?

Kimmo Timonen in a moment of triumph, but where is our Cup?

Kimmo Timonen in a moment of triumph, but where is our Cup?

Sure it was a great site last night. Kimmo Timonen, longtime Flyers defenseman¬† traded to the Blackhawks prior to this year’s playoffs, realized his professional dreams and finally was able to hoist the Stanley Cup at the age of 40. It was a triumphant moment as the veteran broke into tears after kissing the cup, realizing his career was coming to an end on top.

But I ask you, where is our cup?

And when I say “our cup” I really mean “my cup.”

And when I say “cup,” I don’t mean the Stanley Cup. What I mean is my Breakfast on Broad mug promised to me by the fledgling CSN morning show.

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Anthony Gargano co-hosts the afternoon drive with Mike Missanelli, fired from 97.5 FM

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Oh well, fired again. Maybe Breakfast on Broad will be better?

Philadelphia, PA – In a surprise turn of events, Anthony Gargano, former sports talk radio host on 94.1 WIP for many years before his release in late 2014, co-hosted the afternoon drive with Mike Missanelli on 97.5 FM yesterday.

“We are here to change the face of Philadelphia sports talk radio! We are looking forward to entertaining Philadelphia fans for years to come!” Missanelli said. “And now I’m receiving word that Anthony has been fired. Anthony, please leave the studio right now.”

Gargano was then handed a shredded copy of his new contract and told to vacate the premises immediately.

“Hey, he gave it a good shot, but Gargano just didn’t cut it on 97.5 the Fanatic,” said Matt Nahigian, program direct for the station. “We felt we got a good enough overview of him as a potential host from his four hours of programming with us. Now get the hell out of here.”

Gargano, a self-proclaimed lover of meats, was escorted by security from the station’s premises before his belongings were strewn about One Bala Plaza. One of the guards punted a copy of Gargano’s book, “NFL Unplugged: The Brutal, Brilliant world of Professional Football” into a nearby creek before the fired host could pick it up off the ground.

The day was not completely lost, however, as Rob Ellis, former 94.1 WIP host and a former co-host with Gargano, offered him an internship on his new morning television show, Breakfast on Broad.

Ellis warned Gargano the position it would most likely only last a month or two.

“Oh, I fully expect the show to be cancelled by then,” a confident Ellis said.

94 WIP promotes Rob Ellis to coveted 5 a.m. timeslot

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“Rowdy” Rob Ellis, really cutting it loose in his 94 WIP station photograph.

Philadelphia, PA – Citing the need for an experienced radio veteran to kick off its morning coverage, 94 WIP program director Spike Eskin announced Tuesday that Rob Ellis would be promoted from his bi-monthly 3 a.m. radio show to a twice weekly 5 a.m. position.

Ellis will be on the air each Monday and Friday from 5 to 5:30 a.m. With breaks, Ellis will be on air for a grand total of 9 minutes.

Upon hearing of his “promotion,” Ellis was said to have sighed deeply and then looked lovingly at a replica rifle mounted on the station’s wall.

“We really feel this is a great spot for Rob. He’s shown he can handle some adversity this year, and we think this will be a great lead in for Angelo Cataldi and the Morning Show,” Eskin said. “You can get into some salient sports talk in 9 minutes, believe me.”

Eskin said it will be Ellis’s duty to gain ground in the “Insomniac and cocaine addict” demographic so dominated by 97.5 the Fanatic.

It’s been a trying few months for Ellis, as he lost his mid afternoon drive position with Anthony Gargano to Josh Innes and Tony Bruno. He was demoted to the 6 to 10 p.m. position, and then to a 3 a.m. slot twice a month.

His station parking spot was also given to the sandwich truck Josh Innes frequents on a daily basis.

“Rob’s a professional. I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of a product he can put out there twice a week for us. He knows what he’s doing,” Eskin said.

After agreeing to the deal, Ellis was told he will also be responsible for three live reads a show, which will reduce his on-air sports talk time to three minutes a show.