Rejoice, Wing Bowl fans! Your celebratory day of binge drinking at 5 a.m., watching obese men and Asian women eat chicken wings until the point of death, and screaming “SHOW US YOUR TITS” at Delaware Valley strippers is safe for another six years.
Thousands gathered in front of the Wawa on 9th and Walnut to celebrate the 25th annual Jowl Day Tradition. As legend has it, if noted flip-flopper and slob Angelo Cataldi comes out of the Wawa after gorging himself on sticky buns and Butterscotch Krimpets and sees the shadow of his impressive neck jowls, he’ll retreat back into the convenience store and Wing Bowl will be cancelled for the next six years. If the gin-soaked host does not see his neck jowl shadow, Wing Bowl is safe for another six years.
Jowl Day officials Rhea Hughes and Al Morganti, both wearing felt top hats, ceremoniously knocked on the Wawa door three times to summon the legendary sports host. Bleary eyes and covered in honey bun crumbs, Cataldi emerged from the Wawa to a roar from the Wing Bowl fans assembled on the street and immediately tried to run away.
After being corralled by his handlers, Cataldi was lifted high over head. After he tried to bite Hughes several times and urinated on himself, Hughes proclaimed Wing Bowl would continue for another six years.
“Angelo Cataldi, seer of seers, the prognosticator of prognosticators, has not seen the shadow cast from his impressive neck jowls this morning,” Hughes said, jiggling the tremendous folds of neck and cheek fat on Cataldi. “Wing Bowl is safe for another six years!”
After the ceremony, Cataldi handlers returned the host to his enclosure and gave him an extra tub of cheese wiz to calm him down after his big day.