Nick Foles

Hey, has anyone made the Kirk Cousins is the next Nick Foles joke yet?

Kirk CousinsKirk Cousins did not play well last night against the Pittsburgh Steelers, which did not sit well with many Redskins fans after the organization labeled him with the franchise tag.

His performance reminded us of another quarterback who came off a career year and didn’t quite live up to expectation. It seems like a great joke, comparing Kirk Cousins to Nick Foles, but do you think it’s been done yet? I’m not sure.

Well let’s check Twitter and see, shall we?

(Not off to a great start. Sam Donnellon is a hack, so if he tweeted it I’m sure many, many others did.  I like how he had to quality that Kirk Cousins is the NFL SEASON’S version of Nick Foles, lest we thought he was the NBA’s version of Nick Foles)

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Voodoo lessons already paying for themselves, according to Nick Foles

Foles

Voodoo enthusiast, Nick Foles.

Los Angeles, Calif. – Noting that it was the smartest investment he has made in years, free agent Nick Foles noted that the voodoo lessons he had taken in the off-season were practically paying for themselves.

With the recent injury to Cowboys backup quarterback Kellen Moore, several NFL sources have said the Cowboys are reportedly interested in bringing Foles in to backup starter Tony Romo.

“I’m on the market for one day and Kellen Moore snaps his ankle like a twig at the Cowboys’ training camp? Gee, I wonder how that happened?” Foles said.

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Unhappy, overconfident Nick Foles skips OTAs after not getting in team carpool

Foles

Los Angeles, Calif. – Quarterback Nick Foles is a no-show today at the beginning of Los Angeles Rams voluntary OTAs, after the four year veteran could not find a spot in the official team carpool to the stadium each day.

Foles said it was almost unconscionable that the unanimous starting quarterback for the Los Angeles Ram could be cast aside in such an embarrassing fashion.

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Disillusioned Nick Foles excited for Rams to shore up O-Line with 1st pick

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Los Angeles, Calif. – LA Rams quarterback Nick Foles was reportedly elated over the news that the Rams had successfully traded several draft picks to move up to the first pick in the 2016 NFL, as he assumed the team would likely pick one of several highly touted offensive linemen to help his development as the team’s starting quarterback.

Foles said a polished, blue chip tackle will be exactly what the Rams need going into the 2016-2017 season with him leading the squad as the starting quarterback.

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Buzz Bissinger announces ‘Power of Positivity’ Philadelphia Inquirer column

buzz-bissingerPhiladelphia, PA – In stunning news today, noted curmudgeon and extraordinarily talented journalist Buzz Bissinger announced he would be “looking on the brighter side of life and sports” in a new column he will be writing for the Philadelphia Inquirer.

The column, which will be called “The Power of Positvity and Beyond” will appear daily in the Inquirer and will focus on the lighter side of sports.

“I feel like I’ve been just putting out too much negative energy into the universe for the past several decades. Sure my work is thought provoking, interesting and award winning, but there’s more to life than just ground breaking journalism and hard hitting news. I want to start focusing on the great things this world and this city has to offer,” Bissinger said. “Like the effort from the Phillies this year. Can we give them a round of applause? They came out and played hard each game. Great organization.”

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Lesean McCoy: Chip Kelly made black players pick weeds out of field before practice

mccoyBuffalo, NY – Chip Kelly, former Eagles running back, continued his media tour and leveled several harsh criticisms at Chip Kelly in a recent interview with ESPN the Magazine.

Several of McCoy’s comments could be construed calling his former head coach a racist.

“Prior to every practice, Chip would make all of the black players pick weeds out of the field before practice. He ordered us to sing old-school spirituals as well. He did it every single practice and the white players would just sit there and watch us. He was awful. I remember he gave Nick Foles a whip and told him to use it liberally if we didn’t get everything finished 10 minutes prior to practice,” Kelly told the bewildered ESPN reporter.

While all evidence points to the contrary and no video exists of such an order, McCoy doubled down and said Kelly would keep him in chains in the NovaCare Complex, only to release him on game days and for team practices.

When called out on his claims for being in no way truthful by several of his current Buffalo Bills teammates who overheard the interview and were horrified by his statements, McCoy said he may have misremembered things.

“Look, it was a long time ago, I might be mistaken. Ok, MAYBE he didn’t make us pick weeds before practice or keep me in chains, but he was a dick. Plain and simple. And being a dick is just as bad as being a racist, I think we can all agree on that,” he said.

Nobody agreed with him.

As of press time, Eagles fans were arguing if McCoy’s statements today were worse than when he claimed Andy Reid forcibly drafted him from the University of Pittsburgh and shipped him to Philadelphia in an old wooden boat.

Rumor: Eagles planning a blockbuster trade with St. Louis Rams

Young hotshot quarterback Nick Foles is apparently on the Eagles radar.

Young hotshot quarterback Nick Foles is apparently on the Eagles radar.

Philadelphia, PA – In an off season with a number of controversial moves and signings, rumor has it the Philadelphia Eagles are planning on trying to complete a blockbuster trade with the St. Louis Rams.

Sources are telling the Coggin that the Eagles are planning to trade Sam Bradford to the Cleveland Browns for their first round pick, and then package their first round pick and ship both to the St. Louis Rams for quarterback Nick Foles.

“Word has it that Eagles Head Coach Chip Kelly loves the kid….he’d do anything to get Foles. I’ve never seen him higher on another quarterback,” An anonymous source told the Coggin.

Chip Kelly did not confirm or deny the reports, but he did give a wink to a reporter when asked the question.

It would be a stunning turn of events, as the Eagles would position themselves to acquire a potential franchise quarterback to build their organization around for years to come. It would come at a high cost, but if one is to believe Kelly’s game plan, a quarterback like Foles is someone you can’t undervalue.

As of press time, Kelly was also make inquiries to the Buffalo Bills as to the availability of young running back Lesean McCoy. He was rumored to have offered the Eagles 2016 first round pick and inside linebacker Kiko Alonso.