What the hell was that?

After the Eagles fucked away a 17-point lead against the Panthers three weeks ago, Doug Pederson proclaimed the pressure was off his team.

Imagine how little pressure this team feels right now.

Oh me oh my. What the hell did we all watch last night? More important, WHY did we all watch that last night? If we had paid closer attention to this team, to the smoke and mirrors it had displayed during their four wins, we surely would have noticed that the air was dewy sweet with the potential for a massive letdown.

Please go someone else if you want any type of analysis from this game. Stay here if you want to listen to pure, unadulterated bitching.

Look over here! It’s Brandon Graham stripping Tom Brady in the Super Bowl! Remember that? Hey look at this, it’s the Lombardi trophy! Awesome, right?! No no, don’t look over there at the patchwork secondary, the questionable coaching decisions, or Darren Sproles taking up a roster spot all year to get free healthcare….look back over this way, it’s another replay of the Philly Special! Remember that? Philly Philly? Too cool, right?

Don’t look at the man behind the curtain, never mind him. That’s not a man running the same terrible third and long defense that’s been burning us all year, or another terrible playcall on 4th and 1. Pay no attention to them, we are the all and powerful Philadelphia Eagles.

A few weeks ago I implored Philadelphia to do away with the boo. Yeah, you guys can go ahead and boo this team all you want now.

Noodle-armed Dak Prescott stormed into the Linc and effectively ended any chance this team has at a playoff spot. After the inevitable blowout losses to the Rams and Saints, the Eagles have to sweep the rest of its division games and beat a suddenly imposing
Texans team to get to 9 wins.

NINE WINS. After a Super Bowl year. It’s enough to make you wretch.

Everything that broke right for this team last year? Down the toilet this year. Howie gave up a third round pick so Golden Tate could come in and do what, exactly? Be a special teams player? Analysts were predicting he could even see a few snaps at running back, a precariously thin position for the Eagles this year….but Doug just rolled with the same old garbage he has all year.

Is Corey Clement dead? Can he only play a few downs each game because the voodoo curse keeping his body mobile is slowly fading away? Is this a Weekend at Bernies II season for him?

I’m going to see Rasul Douglas doing the “incomplete” celebration after being burned by Amari Cooper for an easy touchdown if Dak Prescott had made an average throw in my dreams for weeks. It’s going to replace the screaming corpse in my  nightmares.

Fun stuff.

Hello darkness my old friend. I’ve come to talk with you again.

E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles.

Go buy 76ers stuff by clicking the banner below, you don’t want to waste your money on any Eagles gear right now. I’m sure a Jimmy Butler jersey would be pretty sweet.

Shop Philadelphia 76ers Gear at Fanatics.com

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