Reports from Eagles practice describe “incredible freakout” by Les Bowen

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Les Bowen in calmer times

Philadelphia, PA – Reports coming out of yesterday’s Eagles practice are sketchy , but what can definitely be confirmed from the afternoon session is veteran Daily News reporter Les Bowen threw, what eyewitness could only describe as, an “absolute shit fit” when linebacker Kiko Alonso did not show up for a Q&A session with the media.

Tim Smithely, a front office public assistant, said Bowen went into an “absolute conniption fit” when the press officer mentioned Alonso had declined to participate in the media session.

“All of a sudden he just threw his arms up in the air and loudly stomped away from the group, grumbling about deadlines and wasted time. It was an incredible freakout, I haven’t seen anything like it in all my years with the team,” Smithely said.

Smithely added that it was “definitely a good old fashioned hissy fit.”

Onlookers reported the “bitchfit” didn’t soon stop, as Bowen loudly demanded to speak with “that concussed piece of shit” and for him to “get his ass out onto the practice field and talk to me like a god damn fucking man.”

“I’m tired of this shit. First the playground, now this. This is bush league. It’s HORSE SHIT” Bowen screamed, referencing an incident several months back where he was denied access to players during an Eagles community service event.

A team official, who said Bowen “must have been on his period today,” also confirmed Bowen attempted to gain access to the Eagles locker room and accosted a security guard who stopped him from entering.

“I was covering Harold Carmichael before your daddy got a whiff of you in his balls, so step aside.” Bowen said.

He did not gain access and was removed from the premises soon thereafter.

Team officials said they hadn’t seen a shit storm like that since the great Andy Reid baby wipes incident of 2003.

Bowen addressed the situation after practice in a series of tweets from his Twitter account.

“How am I supposed to do my job without access to these guys? What am I supposed to do? Stay late and wait for him to come out? I’m a busy man.”

“I either get my quote from him during the scheduled media session or, you know, actually put some effort into my job and hustle for a quote not served up to me on a silver platter. That’s not the Les Bowen way.”

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