Mike Missanelli

Larsen C ice shelf commits suicide after overhearing 97.5 Fanatic segment on Carson Wentz and religion

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An ice shelf the size of Delaware broke itself off from Antarctica yesterday, scientists at the Swansea University-led Midas project confirmed, releasing a gigantic iceberg twice the size of Luxembourg into the surround waters.

Theories of the ice shelf’s disintegration over the past decades have been discussed leading global representatives, but the Swansea University Midas project scientists confirmed this morning that the shelf purposefully broke itself off the frigid continent after overhearing an asinine sports talk segment from the local Philadelphia 97.5 the Fanatic sports talk station.

The environmental disaster has been placed firmly at the feet of 97.5 the Fanatic, its midday host Mike Missanelli, and it’s poor choice of show programming.

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Rob Ellis and Mike Missanelli blaming millennials for the decline of Philadelphia sports is hell on earth

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The beast of hell walks among us in the clothes of a common man. If the demon should reveal its true face to you at a time when you have turned away from Christ, then you will be without protection, & it will gleefully devour your heart & rend you limb from limb & carry your immortal soul into the yawning pit.

I have foreseen how I will die. I have had a vision of my undoing. An overweight, out of touch jowly man and his sniveling, bland, milquetoast toadie disembowel me while opining about the shortcomings of the millennial generation.

So it shall be, so it shall pass.

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Sign our petition and let’s do some good for the City of Philadelphia!
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Philadelphia is a great city, but it can always be a little better with our help!

SIGN OUR PETITION TO HAVE MIKE MISSANELLI STUFFED IN A BURLAP SACK AND DUMPED OUTSIDE OF THE CITY LIMITS RIGHT HERE!

If you missed it last week, 97.5 The Fanatic created a petition to keep the NFL draft in Philadelphia for 2018. The petition gained thousands of signatures from eager Philadelphians who wanted to keep the great event in the City of Brotherly Love for another year.

Even cynics like us, who have spent their fair share of time criticizing the station and its radio hosts, signed the petition. Why did we sign it? Well, when we see something that is good for the city, something that will benefit all of Philadelphia, we have to support it.

See? Here’s proof that we signed the 97.5 Fanatic petition to keep the draft in Philadelphia.

But we figured that as good as Philadelphia is, as great as this city has been to us, it can always be a little better thanks to people who care. So we came up with an idea that we think will really make this city a better place to live, work, and raise a family!

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Mike Missanelli sets all-time podcast download record with release of second show

mike_missanelliThe Podcast King of Philadelphia cannot be stopped.

Mike Missanelli, sports talk radio host turned podcaster extraordinaire, shattered the iTunes download record today with his release of the second episode of “The Mike Missanelli Show,” just one day after climbing to the top of the United States charts.

The release of the second episode was a surprise to fans, as it was just a day after Missanelli suffered a debilitating heart attack at the start of his debut episode.

Always the showman, Missanelli didn’t disappoint, as he opened the episode from the Intensive Care Unit of Jefferson Hospital, carefully slurring out an introduction to the show.

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Mike Missanelli tops podcast charts after having heart attack on debut show

20091224_fm400Itunes has a new podcast king, and his name is Mike Missanelli.

The popular midday 97.5 FM sports talk host has entered the sports podcast game in a big way. Just days after decrying sports blogs, specifically Kyle Scott of Crossing Broad and his Crossing Broadcast, Missanelli fought fire with fire and released his debut podcast, “The Mike Missanelli Show,” which quickly shot up the iTunes charts.

As of this morning, “The Mike Missanelli Show”  was the #1 sports podcast in the entire country and #8 overall with millions of downloads in just a few hours.

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Is Josh Innes vying to replace Anthony Gargano, Maureen Crowley Williams at 97.5?
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Is this the face of the next 97.5 Fanatic Morning Show host?

The rumor mill is a-churning this morning, as an ex-94 WIP sports talk radio host may have thrown his obese sombrero into the ring to replace the disgruntled lover of incredible meats Anthony Gargano, who has not been on the 97.5 Fanatic Morning Show for three straight days now.

Gargano was reportedly upset that producer Maureen “Mr.” Crowley Williams had been fired from the station earlier in the week. Gargano, who has long been rumored to “like like” MCW, has been notably absent from the airwaves since Tuesday.

But a familiar face to the Philadelphia sports talk scene made a splash on social media Wednesday morning. Josh Innes, who previously hosted the midday show at 94 WIP and currently hosts the Josh Innes Show on Sports Talk 790 in Houston, responded to a fan on Twitter Wednesday afternoon and said he would be willing to make a return to the Philadelphia airwaves.

Follow the jump to see the tweet Innes sent out Wednesday:

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The Philadelphia Sports Gong Show

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Chuck Barris, famed host of The Gong Show and claimed CIA assassin, passed away this morning at the age of 87. Barris, a Philadelphia native and Drexel University alum, was the King of Daytime TV, also creating television mainstays The Dating Game and the Newlywed Game.

Luckily for us, death decided to give Barris a one-day only reprieve to give him a chance to host the Philadelphia Gong Show, the pinnacle of television, before he has to return to the sweet embrace of the crypt.

Taping has already concluded, but we do have a rundown of the judges and the contestants who participated in the series. Who do you think will win? Who will receive the least amount of gongs? Let’s see, shall we…

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Who will make our Eagles picks this week?
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Ho ho ho! The Eagles stink and it’s all your fault!

Hey! We actually got ALL of our Eagles picks right last week when we predicted the Eagles would not only lose to the Ravens, but would cover the spread as well. WE’RE ON A ROLL NOW, BUDDY BOY, JUST CALL ME COOL DR. MONEY CAUSE I’M MAKING STACKS UPON STACKS.

Oh, I’m sorry, our guest pickers are on fire (how long do I have to keep up this charade?)

Tonight the Eagles (5-9) will try not to make the bile rise in everyone’s throats throughout the Delaware Valley when they take on the NFC East rival NY Giants (10-4), with the
G-Men -2.5 point favorites.

But wait a second….what’s that I hear? Is that reindeer hooves up on the roof of the Coggin Toboggan offices, or just the thousands upon thousands of rats that call our facilities home?

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see who is making our picks this week….

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Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

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We at the Coggin Toboggan hope you have a lovely Thanksgiving. Just remember, as you’re enjoying your turkey and time with family, there are those of us that are spending their Thanksgivings alone, in an empty apartment with a bottle of half-empty Wild Turkey, weeping softly to ourselves as we watch that episode of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air where Carlton and Hillary volunteer at a soup kitchen on Thanksgiving and make complete asses of themselves.

Please enjoy some of the articles we enjoyed writing this past year.

Elated Gerald Henderson thought MVP chants were for him.

Abbot and Costello make our Eagles picks for the week.

Disappointed Ryan Howard definitely expected a car.

Deadbeat dad really going all out with upper deck Phillies tickets.

Mike Missanelli hospitalized after watching Chase Utley receive two curtain calls.

In the spirit of the Thanksgiving season, it’s time for the Coggin Toboggan pardon
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What are you looking at? Gobble gobble.

Ahhhh Thanksgiving. A time for family, a time for good food and a time for visiting those weird relatives who still don’t have cable even though it’s 2016 and serve striped hard candy for dessert. You know the ones, their house smells like cat piss even though to the best of your knowledge they’ve never even owned a cat? Yeah, them. I know, they suck, but they’re lonely and nobody ever visits them, so get your ass over to their house and PLAY NICE.

Each year, the current president pardons two turkeys on the eve of Thanksgiving to keep the birds out of the slaughterhouse. Sure, it means absolutely nothing when hundreds of thousands of them are actually sent to the slaughterhouse each year, but it’s kitschy!

So it got us to thinking…why don’t we steal the idea and pardon someone we’ve given a hard time to over the past year? That’s a nice gesture, right? Sure it is, it’s a great look for us and will give us some much needed positive press after last year’s unfortunate holiday post, “It’s a Jerry Sandusky kind of Thanksgiving.”

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