If you missed it last week, 97.5 The Fanatic created a petition to keep the NFL draft in Philadelphia for 2018. The petition gained thousands of signatures from eager Philadelphians who wanted to keep the great event in the City of Brotherly Love for another year.
Even cynics like us, who have spent their fair share of time criticizing the station and its radio hosts, signed the petition. Why did we sign it? Well, when we see something that is good for the city, something that will benefit all of Philadelphia, we have to support it.
See? Here’s proof that we signed the 97.5 Fanatic petition to keep the draft in Philadelphia.
But we figured that as good as Philadelphia is, as great as this city has been to us, it can always be a little better thanks to people who care. So we came up with an idea that we think will really make this city a better place to live, work, and raise a family!
We were inspired by the Fanatic. How could you not be with such a fine, grass roots effort to improve this city? So we thought to ourselves….what would be the finest way to help the citizens of Philadelphia reach their potential? What could we do as a blog to make sure our children grow up in the best possible neighborhoods, to keep the elderly safe at night, and to make sure Philadelphia remains as one of the top cities in America?
So we started our own petition, which you can sign right here. Sign it and support our efforts to have 97.5 the Fanatic afternoon drive host Mike Missanelli unceremoniously stuffed in an unmarked burlap sack and dumped outside of the Philadelphia City limits, never to return.
Just think of it, no more worthless discussions of Fletcher Cox missing voluntary OTAs, no more general knowledge Wednesdays, no more dismissive Flyers talk….why, it will be a paradise on earth!
We’re not animals at the Coggin. We’ll give Mike the opportunity to pick out the burlap sack he is stuffed into and we’ll drive him outside of the city in an unmarked utility van as to avoid public scrutiny.
But let me assure you, dear readers, once he is dumped on a desolate road miles outside of Philadelphia, he will never be allowed to return. If he attempts to walk back to the city, he will be tranquilized and dumped further away in our second effort.
The Philadelphia Police Department has also assured us that he will be arrested on site if ever spotted again in city limits and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.
So what do you say, Philadelphia? Lets do what’s right for Philadelphia, your children, your children’s children, and lets clean up this city by throwing away its biggest piece of garbage.