An exasperated father warned his daughter this morning that if she didn’t behave herself he would be forced to take her to tonight’s Phillies game.
Charles Grandowitz, 42, of Cherry Hill, issued the threat to his daughter, Kaylee, 8, after she ignored his request to empty the dishwasher and clean her room.
“Kaylee, so help me, if you don’t get those done like I asked you to by noon today, we’re going to go to that Phillies game tonight, I can promise you that,” Grandowitz said in a menacing tone as his daughter watched television.
“I’ll march you right to that car, drive half an hour into the city, and make you sit there for the entire nine innings. And for what, to see the likes of Cameron Rupp and Howie Kendrick? I promise you, that’s what I’ll do if it teaches you a lesson.”
Grandowitz felt a pang of guilt as he watched his daughter’s face drop in horror at the threat and wondered if he had gone too far.
However, after five minutes and no movement on the chores front, Grandowitz again had to double down on his threat to see the 17-34 Phillies take on the San Francisco Giants at Citizens Bank Park on an otherwise beautiful Friday evening.
“Is that what you want? To see Maikel Franco swing at yet another 0-2 slider in the dirt and strikeout with runners in scoring position? Huh? To see Freddy Galvis swing for the fences and pop out to the shortstop when the team only needs a single? I didn’t think so, now chop chop,” he said, as his crying daughter tearfully turned off the television and trudged to the dishwasher.
At press time, Grandowitz breathed a sigh of relief as his daughter finished her chores, as there was no way in hell he wanted to ruin his weekend by seeing the piece of shit Phillies lose yet another game.