BREAKING NEWS

Villanova already in March Madness form

81bd7c9d1946838dad3efd90676f3b18Philadelphia, PA – After a disappointing Big East championship weekend, #2 seed Villanova looks to be in “vintage” form for the upcoming NCAA Championship tournament.

Steamrolling through the earlier rounds, the heavily favorited Villanova squad fell 69-67 in the Big East Championship round against Seton Hall.

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Joel Embiid, 76ers relying on controversial measures for his recovery

JoelPhiladelphia, PA – Two years ago Joel Embiid was rehabbing his foot injury with traditional methods. Lots of stretching, weight bearing at the beginning of the process, and then a gradual uptick in exercise and weight lifting.

As all 76ers fans know, this just didn’t work. Embiid was forced to undergo another surgery when his foot didn’t heal properly.

Perhaps needing another direction, the 76ers have embraced sports science and several controversial methods for their prize young center.

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Andy Reid caught tampering with rib eating contest

Andy Reid

He’s got to do a better job. 

Kansas City – Sources confirmed Wednesday afternoon that Kansas City Chiefs Head Coach Andy Reid would be fined $75,000 for tampering in pursuit of a coveted rib eating contest at Woodyard Bar-B-Q.

Representatives from the famous barbecue establishment said Coach Reid attempted to learn beforehand from a restaurant employee which sauces would be used for the 25th Annual “Rib Riot” contest.

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New Miami GM won’t let Byron Maxwell off ‘so easy’

082415_byron-maxwell_600Miami, FLA – The tortured screams of corner back Byron Maxwell, 28, rang through the Miami Dolphins training center this morning during his required physical to finalize a trade between the Dolphins and Philadelphia Eagles.

Miami Head Athletic trainer Ryan Grove notified the team’s new GM that Maxwell may not be healthy enough to warrant acquiring, as the young athlete could not lift his right arm as high as his shoulder during the physical examination.

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Hogwart’s most famous duo outperforming Sixers’ by Marcus Hayes

Every once in a while The Coggin Toboggan will have an opportunity to see an article from a prominent Philadelphia journalist before it is published. This is one of those times.

A source has emailed us a column written by Marcus Hayes that will appear in a Daily News in the upcoming future. Please enjoy. 

Hogwart’s Most Famous Duo Outperforming Sixers’

6a017d3bd5738f970c01bb07aedb7b970dTHE QUESTION is answered before it’s fully asked.

“Large butterbeer, two shots of butterscotch.”

Hermoine Granger can order Ron Weasley’s favorite drink at the Three Broomsticks as easily as she can name the crucial components of a perfect polyjuice potion.

“Bingo!” Weasley said.

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Riley Cooper implies Howie Roseman is a racist

102813-howie-roseman-600After the Philadelphia Eagles made a bevy of moves on Monday afternoon, recently released wide receiver Riley Cooper made some unsubtle comments about Howie Roseman and the players he chose to get rid of this offseason.

“You see how fast he got rid of all the good players. Especially all the good white players. He got rid of them the fastest. That’s the truth. There’s a reason. … It’s hard to explain with him. But there’s a reason he got rid of all the white players — the good ones — like that,” Cooper said from his offseason Florida home.

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BREAKING: DeMarco Murray traded for two players

082215_demarco-murray-600Philadelphia, PA – Howie Roseman is at it again, as the man apparently in charge of making personnel moves for the Philadelphia Eagles has announced that running back DeMarco Murray will be traded to the Miami Dolphins, not the Tennessee Titans as was once reported, in a move that will net the Eagles two top-tier defensive players.

When the trade is finalized by the league on Wednesday, the Eagles will officially acquire shut down cornerback Byron Maxwell and stud linebacker Kiko Alonso in the blockbuster deal.

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Peyton Manning makes emotional, surprise announcement at his press conference

bio_mini-bios_0_peyton-manning_0_fix_sf_hd_768x432-16x9Denver, Colo. – Peyton Manning, arguably the one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game, held an emotional press conference today to announce that a new variety of Papa John’s Pizza would be available at locations countrywide.

In front of hundreds of assembled media members, former players, coaches, and front office executive, Manning officially confirmed what many had reported on since early Sunday morning.

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Special Guest Columnist OJ Simpson: I buried knives all the time!

mte5ndg0mdu1mti5ndu4mtkxHey everyone, it’s your good pal Juice checking in to say hello and address some dirty rumors that are floating around the internet.

Imagine the Juice’s surprise this morning when the Juice got his 15 minutes of internet time and saw TMZ was reporting that a construction worker found a buried, blood splattered knife on my property several years ago.

Now, I want to address this head on. Juice is a good guy! We all know Juice made some mistakes in the past, but this is seriously no big deal! I was so rich and successful I had to  bury blood stained knives in my yard all the time. I didn’t have anymore room in my house to hide them, so the yard had to do!

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Report: Claude Giroux really going at that punching bag

giroux-upset

God he is PISSED.

Philadelphia, PA – Teammates practicing at the Flyers Skate Zone yesterday were tipped off to Claude Giroux’s snub from Team Canada for the upcoming World Cup of Hockey as they were greeted by the captain “really going to town” on the punching bag set up in the facility’s fitness center.

Several were surprised to see Giroux reportedly “wailing” on the piece of exercise equipment before the scheduled practice.

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