NCAA

REPORT: Yachting loafers kicked through TVs at a record high after Villanova loss

wealthy-people-on-a-jetYachting loafers, sailing shoes and boat shoes were kicked through televisions at an alarmingly high rate Saturday afternoon, correlating with the stunning upset of #1 Villanova by #8 Wisconsin in the NCAA March Madness tournament.

Reports coming in to the Coggin show brands of Sperrys, Nubuck Deck Shoes, Barque Deck Shoes and Cole Haan Boothbay Boat shoes were sent hurtling into 80-inch flat screen televisions at a shocking rate at the conclusion of Villanova’s 65-62 loss.

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Dave Hakstol reports Shayne Gostisbehere to FBI for running March Madness pool

051915_hakstol-dave_600Talented Flyers defenseman Shayne Gostisbehere was seen being escorted out of the Flyers practice facility in handcuffs this morning, as several federal agents led him to an unmarked black van as head coach Dave Hakstol looked on disapprovingly.

Gostibehere’s running afoul of the FBI was reportedly Hakstol’s doing, as the head coach made several calls to the federal agency earlier this week to make them aware of Gostibehere’s involvement running an NCAA March Madness pool for his teammates.

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What does Doug Pederson’s head look like?

dougie-pWe struggled to figure out what to write on the blog today. Another post about Villanova? No thanks. Something about the Flyers and their march to the playoffs? Nah. The 76ers winning their 10th game of the season? The 25 remaining Sixers fans in this city would be annoyed and go to Facebook to complain.

So we really decided to dig deep and flex our journalistic muscle. We want to make a difference and write posts that people in this city will read and think about for the rest of their day.

So, here is a complete list of things we think Eagles Head Coach Doug Pederson’s weird head looks like.

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Villanova students riot the right way

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Photo credit: @McDanielJustine on Twitter.

Villanova, PA – Thousands of Villanova students flocked from the Pavilion onto Lancaster Avenue Monday night after the Wildcats dispatched the Tarheels 77-74 on a buzzer beating 3-point shot by Kris Jenkins for their first NCAA championship since 1985.

Police in riot gear thronged the campus as thousands of students celebrated and set a massive bonfire about an hour into the festivities. The wanton destruction was described as “incredibly classy” by the onlooking officers.

The drunken revelers celebrated long into the night, under the watchful eye of Philadelphia police.

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Larry Brown predicts Villanova victory on 97.5 Morning Show from beyond the grave

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Larry Brown looking to be in fine fettle.

A decrepit Larry Brown hoisted his living corpse from his eternal slumber to call into the 97.5 FM Morning Show and predict a Villanova victory in the NCAA championship match up against UNC.

The SMU coach cackled into his telephone as he provided his analysis of the championship game to host Anthony Gargano.

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BREAKING NEWS: Somehow your bracket is already busted

ncaa-march-madnessYou woke up this morning at 8:20 a.m., all psyched to watch the games, but  the unfortunate news is that your NCAA tournament bracket, the one you spent hours researching and getting just right, has somehow already been busted.

You’re already mathematically eliminated from every pool you entered. Sorry about that.

The $25 per bracket you didn’t think twice about spending before the tournament started? It would have been better off being put in the bank, or donated to the homeless, or maybe put into a stock that would have paid out sweetly in 5 to 10 years. Maybe you would have gotten lucky and it would have supported your family for years to come. Guess you’ll never know now.

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Robert Durst’s NCAA March Madness predictions, slaughtering the competition since 1982

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Our NCAA specialist is back, baby!

Robert Durst, member of the famed Durst real estate family in New York City, is back to help us pick March Madness games in 2016. His resume was quite impressive, as he noted that he served as ESPN’s primary basketball handicapper for several years in the early 1980s and 2000s. 

Durst has run afoul of the law since last year, but he’s assured us that it is only a “misunderstanding” and he’ll soon be cleared of all charges. Franky, we can’t see why this affable and charming man has been jailed in the first place!

He’s assured us that he has had no prior run ins with the law before the difficulties last year. 

Typically charging an arm and a leg for his services, Durst has slashed his prices for the Toboggan and will be checking in before each round to give his unique take on the upcoming games.

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