We struggled to figure out what to write on the blog today. Another post about Villanova? No thanks. Something about the Flyers and their march to the playoffs? Nah. The 76ers winning their 10th game of the season? The 25 remaining Sixers fans in this city would be annoyed and go to Facebook to complain.
So we really decided to dig deep and flex our journalistic muscle. We want to make a difference and write posts that people in this city will read and think about for the rest of their day.
So, here is a complete list of things we think Eagles Head Coach Doug Pederson’s weird head looks like.
- An over-inflated basketball (oh sweet irony).
- A drunken potato.
- A keg of expired vanilla root beer.
- A bowl of honey mush.
- A commissioned bust of former President Gerald Ford that was overheated in the sculptor’s kiln and melted partially halfway through the process, but was too nice to just throw away.
- An under-inflated volleyball (oh sweet irony).
- Life-sized bobble head doll of former Eagles quarterback Doug Pederson.
- Deceased British Prime Minister Margaret “Iron Lady” Thatcher.
- Former Attorney General of the United States Janet Reno.
- A tumor with teeth and hair.
- A tumor with no teeth, but with hair.
- A tumor with no teeth or hair, but wearing a tie after John “the funniest guy in the operating room” got his hands on it after a surgery.
- A child’s model of the solar system, particularly the representation of the planet Venus.
- You guessed it, Frank Stallone.
So this is what the blog is now? Probably. Just sit back and enjoy the ride into mediocrity. Don’t struggle, just accept it like an elderly woman struggling to keep her head above the water of a freshly drawn bath.
It will all be over soon and then you’ll stay young forever.