Everyone hates Grayson Allen now…but guess what?

Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss!

Kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss!

We’re not above the hate. Go fuck yourself Grayson Allen

It seems like Grayson Allen is the poster boy for the Duke championship last night and it has people in a furor throughout this country. Posts, tweets, articles are being written about the freshman who willed the Blue Devils to victory.

Every big basket out of nowhere, followed by his tinny scream and flex celebration made us at the Coggin want to put our fists through our televisions in our tin shacks. What a little smug piece of shit. God, of COURSE Coach K brought him in and we’ll have to watch him scream and smack the court for the next three seasons.

Now, at the Coggin we never wish ill will on a player, but I’ve never hoped for someone to lose his stroke more than I have with Grayson Allen. No physical harm, mind you, but perhaps he becomes a mental case like Chuck Knoblauch in the early 2000s when he couldn’t throw to first base and it ruined his career.

Can you imagine? Perhaps he has a day on the court where he notices he keeps hitting the top of the backboard. No matter what he does, he just can’t make a show. Hours of practice, one-on-one instruction with Coach K, intensive sports psychiatry, it just wouldn’t work.

It puts a smile on your face, the thought of it.

Get a better haircut as well, you Alfalfa looking piece of garbage.

Holy shit, did you guys hear about our NCAA correspondent, Robert Durst?

Who knew?!

Who knew?!

I can’t believe this, but did you guys hear about Robert Durst? If you’re familiar, he was a correspondent that we paid, handsomely I might add, to give us his thoughts on the NCAA March Madness tournament.

He had forwarded his resume to us before the tournament started and it looked legitimate. Professional handicapper? Check. Years of college basketball analysis? Check. A perfect bracket in the last two NCAA basketball tournaments? Check plus.