New York City

Sam Darnold’s spleen had the best day out of anyone on the Jets as Eagles roll

Well well well, what do we have here. Five games into the season and the Eagles find themselves at 3-2, tied with the rotten Cowboys of Dallas at the top of the NFC East as Dak Prescott threw THREE interceptions against the Packers and couldn’t complete the late comeback.

Not too easy when you’re playing the dregs of the NFL anymore, is it fellas?

Ten sacks. Two defensive touchdowns. Two interceptions. It was a massacre from the jump as Adam Gase couldn’t crazy eye his team to victory and Luke Falk may or may not have shed a few tears at halftime.

Sam Darnold’s spleen definitely let out a sigh of relief that it wasn’t cleared to play in the 31-6 demolition of what could be the worst team in all of football.

On to Minnesota. Random thoughts on the game after the jump:

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Chris Christie’s WFAN show audition prep sheet leaked to Coggin Toboggan

08-chris-christie-2Gov. Chris Christie is taking time off from his busy summer schedule of closing state parks and impersonating a beached whale to officially audition next week for a sports talk show on Sports Radio 66 WFAN in New York City.

Christie, an avid sports talk fan, will fill-in for longtime WFAN host Mike Francesa on Monday and Tuesday next week from 2 to 6:30 p.m. alongside Evan Roberts. Christie has mentioned he would like to transition into a sports talk role after his term as New Jersey Governor comes to a close.

The Coggin Toboggan has obtained a copy of Christie’s prep sheet for Monday’s debut show. A prep sheet gives a rough outline of what a host has planned for the day’s show.

What do you think of his proposed show? Take a look after the jump.

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We’re going to the draft lottery, bitches

HI top fadeEvery so often, the CT will check in with rookie sensation Nerlens Noel and his signature hi-top fade haircut to get his take on the 76ers season so far. We at CT take no responsibility for the opinions of the hi-top or his world views. On to today’s edition:

76ers current record: 0-0.

Fuck and yes, people, my boy Stinkie Hinkie notified us today and told us that we are going to be representing the squad at Tuesday night’s draft lottery. Nerlens will be there, of course, and I’ll be high, hi-topped and faded, and we’ll be watching those ping pong balls bounce to see where we land for the 2015 draft.

It’s going to be fabulous. The 76ers will be picking up the tab for our night out in Brooklyn. We’re going to take that hipster town over and see where we fall for the draft.

Either way, I hope we get to pick somewhere so we can draft my boy D’Angelo Russell from Ohio State. We hung out with my boy last week and he actually seemed PUMPED to come to Philadelphia. He kept talking about how he couldn’t “wait to see the Empire State Building” and “visit the Shivering Sea” and “walk over the Golden Gate Bridge” all in one day. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that he was talking about New York City, a fictional body of water in “Game of Thrones,” and San Francisco…literally none of those things are in Philadelphia.

That Ohio State education might not be working out for him.

Either way, we are going to get FUCKED up Tuesday night. I’m a little worried, though, that Furkan is going to tag along. Nobody will tell him he can’t come…if he shows up he’s going to get into the car and there’s no way he won’t ruin the entire broadcast.

He could provide some extra muscle, maybe intimidate Silver to give us a few extra ping pong balls. Fuck it, I’m calling him, Furkan and me are going to take this city by storm.

Go Sixers, baby!

Holy shit, did you guys hear about our NCAA correspondent, Robert Durst?

Who knew?!

Who knew?!

I can’t believe this, but did you guys hear about Robert Durst? If you’re familiar, he was a correspondent that we paid, handsomely I might add, to give us his thoughts on the NCAA March Madness tournament.

He had forwarded his resume to us before the tournament started and it looked legitimate. Professional handicapper? Check. Years of college basketball analysis? Check. A perfect bracket in the last two NCAA basketball tournaments? Check plus.

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