Sam Darnold’s spleen had the best day out of anyone on the Jets as Eagles roll

Well well well, what do we have here. Five games into the season and the Eagles find themselves at 3-2, tied with the rotten Cowboys of Dallas at the top of the NFC East as Dak Prescott threw THREE interceptions against the Packers and couldn’t complete the late comeback.

Not too easy when you’re playing the dregs of the NFL anymore, is it fellas?

Ten sacks. Two defensive touchdowns. Two interceptions. It was a massacre from the jump as Adam Gase couldn’t crazy eye his team to victory and Luke Falk may or may not have shed a few tears at halftime.

Sam Darnold’s spleen definitely let out a sigh of relief that it wasn’t cleared to play in the 31-6 demolition of what could be the worst team in all of football.

On to Minnesota. Random thoughts on the game after the jump:

• The Jets literally had no shot at this one from the get go. If you’re depending on an extremely washed up Demaryius Thomas to give you anything of value you may as well just forfeit these games before they start.

• Wentz was anything but extraordinary, but he didn’t have to be. It was a win, he made some nice throws, some bad ones, and drops again hurt the offense. His best throw was easily when he ducked under a should-be sack from a nameless Jets defender in the pocket, gathered himself, and threw a strike to Zack Ertz over the middle for a first down. Gorgeous.

• One troubling factor for the offense is every pass seems to come over the middle. Sure they had two to Agholor that should have gone for touchdowns if not for a called illegal contact and a phantom call for pass interference, but Wentz and his receivers are going to have to prove they can gain some net yardage to the outside and/or over the top.

• The fanbase is going to eat some “member berries” with DeSean Jackson each week he misses these games. Member’ when DeSean and Wentz looked unstoppable in week 1? Member’ when we had someone to take the top off  defense? Member’ when he didn’t have a sports hernia (allegedly)?

• Bryce Harper took in the game from a suite and we all pretended for three hours that he was a HUGE Eagles fan and most definitely not a Cowboys fan. BRYCE BRYCE BRYCE BRYCE BRYCE!

• What excuse will Skip Bayless throw out this morning for Dak Prescott and the Cowboys performance against the Packers? The air-conditioning at Jerry’s World was on too high? Mercury was in retrograde to Venus, throwing the universe out of balance? Jerry’s pregame coke was mostly stepped on?

• Jason Garrett was sweating on the sidelines like Jerry Jones waiting for the results of a paternity test.

• Next week should prove to be a stiff test against a very good Vikings defense and a “steak cooked in tinfoil” offense led by everyone’s favorite goober, Kirk Cousins. Need that W to keep pace with the Cowboys, who will surely demolish the Jets. Enjoy the game for me, as I will be sitting in a convention center across the country fighting off the urge to slit my throat. Should be a blast!

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