Las Vegas, Nevada – Following a flurry of late money bet on Philadelphia, Las Vegas sport books currently have the injury riddled Patriots as a slight 56-point favorite over the Eagles during this weekends game.
“The Patriots are banged up right now and coming off of their first loss. We certainly took that into account when we set the line for this game. We think it’s a fair line,” said Caesars Bookmaker Todd Fuhrman.
Philadelphia, PA – To ensure the talented, but immature, Jahlil Okafor does not get into anymore trouble and put himself into negative situations, the 76ers announced Thursday morning that three-year deal has been struck with Thunderlips, the ultimate male, to be his bodyguard.
“To all my love slaves out there, Thunderlips is here! In the flesh, baby! The ultimate male,” he said, stroking his luscious blonde hair.
Philadelphia, PA – Kobe Bryant, a sure first-ballot hall of famer, met with the media before playing his final game in Philadelphia after announcing he would retire at the end of the season.
The oft-vilified Bryant was all smiles as he described how much he would miss the city, its fans, and its tight-lipped women.
The Afterlife – High atop a throne of clouds, God, ruler of all things Holy, commented on a recent Reddit thread that asked if fans believed he was “punishing” the City of Philadelphia’s sport teams for cutting Tim Tebow.
The thread, which can be seen here, has garnered hundreds of responses from local fans.
God vehemently denied said rumors, but mentioned he was “most certainly punishing” Philadelphia.
Philadelphia, PA – Not believing his rash of bad luck in the past week, 76ers center looked skyward after news released of his traffic stop on the Ben Franklin Bridge for driving 108 MPH and jokingly told his teammates “at least it’s not raining!” before going to field questions from the media.
Minutes later CIA agents were arresting the embattled rookie for high treason against the U.S. government.
“We had reason to believe Mr. Okafor was selling some of our most sensitive nuclear secrets to the Chinese,” said CIA spokesman Richard Grant. “After a high tech sting with some of our highest operatives, we have reached the rock-solid conclusion that he is one of America’s greatest internal enemies.”
Easy there Tom, kids go on this blog!
So it’s the day after Thanksgiving and we’ve all got families to hang out with and hangovers to get rid of. Or, if you’re like me, you’re sitting by yourself in your one bedroom apartment looking at the loaded gun on your dresser and wondering if TODAY IS FINALLY THE DAY you take the easy way out!
Lucky for you, today is not the day (and I need to remember to buy more bullets) so here are some more greatest hits if you care at all. I know I don’t.
Enjoy!
The induction of Tatanka as the first ever member of the Coggin Toboggan Hall of Fame.
Our interview with standup comedian Doug Benson.
Pat Burrell comes to town one last time.
Carli Lloyd signs the most lucrative women’s soccer endorsement deal of all time.
Happy Thanksgiving from The Coggin Toboggan!
While you’re enjoying your turkey and hanging out with your family, just remember that some of us are squatting in the basements of vacant homes, stealing internet from a nearby children’s hospital and plotting our revenge against ALL WHO HAVE WRONGED US.
Enjoy some of the favorite articles we’ve written in the last year.
John Chaney appears in Owls locker room at half, gives speech, disappears into the fog.
Chase Utley’s alleged takeout slide of Marcus Hayes in Phillies Clubhouse explains so much.
Punch throwing, fight picking radio host still offended at Chase Utley’s profanity use in 2008.
Reports from Eagles practice describes “incredible freakout” by Les Bowen
Philadelphia, PA – Several sources have cited that a number of 76ers are questioning the official height of the baskets at the Wells Fargo Center.
When questioned, several on the roster went on record and have claimed the rims are “much higher than 10-feet tall.”
Philadelphia, PA – Lane Johnson’s recent comments about Lincoln Financial Field not offering a home field advantage because of apathetic fans has cemented punter Donnie Jones as the most likable member of the 2015-2016 roster.
It’s rare for a punter to hold the prestigious ranking on any football team, but with such an unlikable cast of rogues on the roster this year Jones found himself on top of the heap Tuesday afternoon.
Oh god, why Rod?!
Philadelphia, PA – A supposed night of closure and redemption turned into a night of true shock as Rod Brind’Amour turned heel and railed against the city that loved him so dearly.
The evening started off on a high note, as Flyers play-by-play man Jim Jackson introduced him to the roaring crowd.
Brind’Amour walked out of the tunnel after being announced, smiling and shaking hands with familiar faces. Jackson presented him with a “Brind’Amour Cup” and team dignitaries thanked him for his years of service to the team.
The Coggin Toboggan 