Philadelphia, PA – To ensure the talented, but immature, Jahlil Okafor does not get into anymore trouble and put himself into negative situations, the 76ers announced Thursday morning that  three-year deal has been struck with Thunderlips, the ultimate male, to be his bodyguard.

“To all my love slaves out there, Thunderlips is here! In the flesh, baby! The ultimate male,” he said, stroking his luscious blonde hair.

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