The 76ers FEDS nickname stinks, so why won’t our suggestion of Right Said FREDS catch on?
FREDS

I see nothing problematic with this at all.

Leave it up to CSN Philadelphia to completely suck all of the fun out of the NBA draft by suggesting the absolute dumbest nickname for the 76ers young core of exciting players. The FEDS? Fultz, Embiid, Dario, Simmons? Get the hell out of here. That’s awful.

But look, we’re not about tearing down at the Coggin, we’re all about building up. We’re not just going to trash an idea, no matter how idiotic and stupid it is, without at least offering a viable alternative. Good game, good effort CSN, but let the professionals take over from here.

There’s only one possible solution to this problem and it’s the simplest.

(more…)

Just give in and #embracethesuck with the Phillies
UXSuHB3l

Odubel Herrera HEROICALLY being thrown out by 50-feet last night. (photo credit: Deadspin.com)

Last night the Phillies blew a 5-0 lead against the Cardinals and didn’t even have the decency for their fans to lose in the 9th inning. After a game tying home run in the ninth, they proceeded to lumber into extra innings and shit all over themselves.

After a balk, a wild throw on a pick off attempt, the ignoring of a stop sign which resulted in the winning run being thrown out by 50-feet, the Phillies mercifully pulled the plug and lost 7-6.

Did you expect anything else? A buddy of mine every year growing up would try to get us excited about the Phillies, only to have his soul crushed in HILARIOUS fashion when Ron Gant/Kevin Sefcik/Rob Ducey/Rico Brogna/Mike Lieberthal/Randy Wolf/Omar Daal/Travis Lee didn’t pan out to be franchise saviors and the Phillies were in last place by July.

I guarantee even he didn’t expect them to win last night.

The strangest thing, though? Phillies twitter went CRAZY. Oh my, there was a great gnashing and whaling of teeth as fans smashed their faces into keyboards and spat vitriol into the electric ether about this garbage organization.

Why? WHY?! WHY THE OUTRAGE?! They dropped to 26 games under .500 and we’re not even out of June yet. There are 92 games left in the season. The season is over. Unless angels come down from the heavens and help Hector Neris regain command of his sinker and cast Odubel Herrera down into the fiery depths of hell this season is a complete waste of time.

(more…)

“Hossa must have an allergy to hard work,” jokes Chicago sports anchor about to be fired

6-20_marian_hossa_apUnbeknownst to ABC-7 Chicago sports anchor Dianna Hamlin, the veteran sports journalist chuckled to herself during Wednesday morning’s broadcast as she geared up to make a joke about Blackhawks forward Marian Hossa that would surely get her fired within 72 hours.

The 10-year broadcasting vet ignored every spark of common sense that flashed through her brain as she delivered her story that beloved Blackhawks forward Hossa would miss the entire 2017-2018 season, and possibly be forced to retire, after it was revealed he has a serious allergy to his equipment.

(more…)

Breaking down a minute of the most EXTREME, flop-sweatiest take on The Process ever recorded
hqdefault

EXTREME HAT TILT from Gabe Morency.

Sometimes the Gods smile upon you, my friends. This gem was went to us on Twitter via @rfmchenry1371, a segment from “SPORTS RAGE” starring Gabe Morency. The show, as far as I can tell, stars a stammering bald man, well into an eight-ball of coke (allegedly), YELLING his opinions into a camera in front of an empty faux sportscenter set.

It’s EXTREME. It’s YELLY. It’s SWEATY. Oh my goodness, there is so much sweat. But I guess you do sweat an awful lot when you have such EXTREME, MUSKY takes.

The entire segment is nearly 4-minutes long. Four long, agonizing minutes of a man drowning to death during a taped segment. Rumor has it the CIA originally planned to use this as a tool to extract information from terrorists, but too many of them chewed through their wrist veins and bled out before giving anything up.

I don’t have the strength to break down the entire four-minutes, but it’s well worth it to watch until its conclusion.

Let’s all enjoy this train wreck after the jump:

(more…)

Destructive RT Armageddon wreaks havoc through Philadelphia sports media

tumblr_mou8y9bxwc1sqwnloo1_500The unthinkable happened on Monday afternoon, as a destructive RT Armageddon wreaked havoc through the Philadelphia sports media, cutting swaths of destruction through the flimsy, half-thought out takes from the past.

The Armageddon, which officially rated as an 8.2 on the Eskin scale, crumbled and exposed the worst past opinions on the popular Sam Hinkie “Process” from Philadelphia sports media members.

According to Twitter experts, it was the largest RT Armageddon Philadelphia has experienced since the Andy Reid firing of 2012.

(more…)

I hate the 76ers trade for the #1 pick

041016_bryan-colangelo_1200

Like Robert Johnson at the crossroads, this blog has a life changing decision to make. Which direction does our blog take? Do we take the deal with the devil, or do we forge another path?

This brings us to the reported trade 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo pulled off over the weekend. Giving the Boston Celtics the #3 pick this year and either the 2018 Lakers 1st round pick or the 2019 Sacramento 1st round pick for the #1 overall pick this year and the rights to draft Markelle Fultz?

I hate this trade. Absolutely despise it.

(more…)

Angelo Cataldi shows up to 94 WIP offices in brand new “Trust the Process” t-shirt

060512-Angelo-Cataldi-400Angelo Cataldi surprised co-workers Monday morning when the host of the 94 WIP Morning Show came into work sporting a black t-shirt adorned with Sam Hinkie’s face and the slogan “Trust the Process” printed across its backside.

Cataldi, who once wrote in a column, “Above all, Hinkie was a loser,” feigned surprised when co-workers questioned his choice of apparel.

(more…)

Rob Ellis and Mike Missanelli blaming millennials for the decline of Philadelphia sports is hell on earth

maxresdefault

The beast of hell walks among us in the clothes of a common man. If the demon should reveal its true face to you at a time when you have turned away from Christ, then you will be without protection, & it will gleefully devour your heart & rend you limb from limb & carry your immortal soul into the yawning pit.

I have foreseen how I will die. I have had a vision of my undoing. An overweight, out of touch jowly man and his sniveling, bland, milquetoast toadie disembowel me while opining about the shortcomings of the millennial generation.

So it shall be, so it shall pass.

(more…)

Ruben Amaro Jr. walks into Phillies clubhouse out of habit, trades Mickey Moniak

Ruben Amaro JrOld habits die hard, just ask former Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr.

Visiting Citizens Bank Park for the first time since being fired as the organization’s general manager, the two sides got a good chuckle out of Amaro Jr. accidentally walking into the Phillies home clubhouse instead of the visitors clubhouse Wednesday night prior to the Phillies home stint with the Boston Red Sox.

“Oops…I don’t think I’ve even been to the visitors clubhouse, my bad guys,” Amaro Jr. said to the amused group of Phillies who were lounging around prior to the game, speaking with members of the media.

“Oh, and someone tell Mickey Moniak I’ve traded him to the Mets for Curtis Granderson. We need some power at the corners and they needed young talent. Should be a win-win.”

(more…)

Eagles coaches raving about Marcus Smith’s Uber rating

121614-smith-marcus-600

Eagles position coaches were buzzing Wednesday morning about recently arrived defensive lineman Marcus Smith, parcticularly in regards to the young man’s 5-star Uber driver rating, claiming he had shown vast improvement already over last year.

When asked to give an assessment of Smith so far, Chris Wilson, the defensive line coach of the Eagles, said Smith’s 1992 Toyota Tercel was “practically spotless” and he “always asks you if there’s a specific route you want him to go, or if he should just use Waze.”

(more…)