The unthinkable happened on Monday afternoon, as a destructive RT Armageddon wreaked havoc through the Philadelphia sports media, cutting swaths of destruction through the flimsy, half-thought out takes from the past.
The Armageddon, which officially rated as an 8.2 on the Eskin scale, crumbled and exposed the worst past opinions on the popular Sam Hinkie “Process” from Philadelphia sports media members.
According to Twitter experts, it was the largest RT Armageddon Philadelphia has experienced since the Andy Reid firing of 2012.
The RT Armageddon first hit around 1:30 p.m. Monday afternoon after the Markelle Fultz trade was officially announced, with destructive tremors continuing late into the evening.
Rebuilding efforts have so far been hindered by fear.
“We’ll rebuild, I mean, we have to. What choice do we have?” Angelo Cataldi said this morning. “I have plenty more terrible opinions that I can’t wait to share with everyone in this city, but how can I be certain that I’ll able allowed to spew my nonsense without being confronted by my horrendous statements at some point in the future? It really makes you think twice before saying something tremendously stupid.”
Cataldi went on and vowed he would not allow the RT Armageddon to stymie his idiocy.
At press time, rescue workers continued their efforts to free Marcus Hayes from underneath the rubble of his terrible columns from the past three years.