Boston Red Sox

Ruben Amaro Jr. walks into Phillies clubhouse out of habit, trades Mickey Moniak

Ruben Amaro JrOld habits die hard, just ask former Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr.

Visiting Citizens Bank Park for the first time since being fired as the organization’s general manager, the two sides got a good chuckle out of Amaro Jr. accidentally walking into the Phillies home clubhouse instead of the visitors clubhouse Wednesday night prior to the Phillies home stint with the Boston Red Sox.

“Oops…I don’t think I’ve even been to the visitors clubhouse, my bad guys,” Amaro Jr. said to the amused group of Phillies who were lounging around prior to the game, speaking with members of the media.

“Oh, and someone tell Mickey Moniak I’ve traded him to the Mets for Curtis Granderson. We need some power at the corners and they needed young talent. Should be a win-win.”

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Philadelphia fans somehow infiltrate Fenway Park, taunt Adam Jones with racial slurs

22595793-mmmainThe Boston faithful were aghast Monday evening as throngs of boorish, malevolent and racist Philadelphia fans wearing Boston Red Sox jersey and Boston hats infiltrated the hallowed grounds of Fenway Park and hurled racial slurs and peanuts at Baltimore Oriole Adam Jones for the entirety of the game.

The Philadelphia fans – who evidently traveled hundreds of miles to Boston on a Monday evening for a meaningless Red Sox/Orioles match up in May – adopted perfect Boston accents for the game in an attempt to “blend in” with the home crowd, but were quickly exposed by the cordial Beantown residents.

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Ruben Amaro Jr. grateful for chance to be despised by entirely new fan base

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The new Red Sox first base coach is already looking to make a mark in the city.

Boston, Mass  – Speaking to media during his first spring training with the Boston Red Sox, new first base coach and former Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr. expressed excitement at a new start with a new franchise.

Amaro Jr. said he was most excited to have the opportunity to “fail miserably” and “have a whole new fan base despise me for an entirely new reason.”

“I’m grateful for this opportunity to alienate myself and have the good people of Boston absolutely come to hate me in the next several year. It should be a wild ride,” Amaro Jr. said, picking up a foul ball and whipping it towards David Ortiz, whose back was turned to the interview.

The Red Sox announced Ortiz would miss the first three months of the season with a concussion.

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