Ruben Amaro Jr. grateful for chance to be despised by entirely new fan base


The new Red Sox first base coach is already looking to make a mark in the city.

Boston, Mass  – Speaking to media during his first spring training with the Boston Red Sox, new first base coach and former Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr. expressed excitement at a new start with a new franchise.

Amaro Jr. said he was most excited to have the opportunity to “fail miserably” and “have a whole new fan base despise me for an entirely new reason.”

“I’m grateful for this opportunity to alienate myself and have the good people of Boston absolutely come to hate me in the next several year. It should be a wild ride,” Amaro Jr. said, picking up a foul ball and whipping it towards David Ortiz, whose back was turned to the interview.

The Red Sox announced Ortiz would miss the first three months of the season with a concussion.

Amaro noted his new job would require a new skill set that he would have to learn on the fly in order to make him one of the most hated and despised figures in Boston sports, much like he was in Philadelphia prior to his firing.

To accomplish this feat, Amaro Jr. said he would have to keep an open mind to new and different ideas.

He specifically expressed an interest in forgetting how many outs there are in an inning during crucial moments during the season.

“Telling Dustin Pedroia to run on contact when there is only one out in an inning because I thought there were two should be a thrill, especially if he’s doubled up to kill a rally during an important moment in a game. I can’t wait to see how the media will handle that one,” Amaro Jr. said.

When asked who he had taken a shine too on the Red Sox so far, Amaro Jr. admitted to having an eye on embattled Pablo Sandoval.

“He’s a great guy, we go out for all-you-can-eat buffalo wings at least three times a week. He works hard, he deserves it,” he said. “He’s a lot quicker than people thing, too. I think I’ll give him the green light to steal second base whenever he wants to. Can’t hurt for him to give it the old college try.”

Amaro Jr. concluded his first media interview by exclaiming his surprise at how much more knowledgeable Phillies fans are compared with Red Sox fans.

“And let me tell you, those people in Philadelphia are none too bright,” Amaro Jr. chuckled.


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