Philadelphia, PA – Boston Celtics president Danny Ainge confirmed over the weekend that he participated in discussions with 76ers GM Sam Hinkie that would have brought Jahlil Okafor to Boston.

Ainge, however, said the 76ers asked for the “moon and the stars” in return for the young, promising center.

“They wanted no draft picks, no players, Sam asked for something much different. All Sam asked in return for Jahlil was a poem that he said ‘would fill his cold heart with the human spirit’ and make him feel the ‘warmth of the human spirit’ in a harsh world,” Ainge said.

Ainge and several front office executives worked feverishly to write a poem worthy of such a transaction, but even after bringing in outside help the organization could not create a piece of art sufficient enough to move the emotionally starved Hinkie.

“We even hired former U.S. Poet Laureate W.S. Merwin at the last minute, but his piece, ‘Rain in a Weeping Forest’ was declared as ‘trite’ and ‘predictable’ by Hinkie. Guy’s a tough critic I suppose,” Ainge said.

Talks with the Sixers stalled after Ainge himself submitted a limerick entitled, “Baskeballs in my mouth.”