Philadelphia

Jeremy Hellickson talks trade concerns, which teams he would accept in a deal

Hellickson knows he could be traded to a new team fairly soon.

Philadelphia, PA – Fresh off a sparking eight-inning, shutout start against the Miami Marlins, Phillies pitcher Jeremy Hellickson acknowledged today that he may be traded to a contender but would only accept a deal to a team that could forward his career.

Hellickson said he has enjoyed his time with the Phillies, but would welcome a change if the fit was right.

“If I’m traded, I want it to be on my terms to a team that can help my career in the long run,” Hellickson told reporters this morning.

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Did Melania Trump plagiarize from other sources as well? Our researchers say yes

Melania Trump at the Republican National Convention. (Photo Credit: New York Post photograph Chad Rachman)

Last night, millions watching the Republican National Convention saw potential first-lady Melania Trump deliver a powerful speech to the delegates that brought on thunderous applause for her husband, and Republican candidate for the president, Donald Trump.

But the keen eared among the viewers knew they had heard parts of her speech before. Several portions of Melania’s speech were extremely close to an address Michelle Obama gave at the 2008 Democratic National Convention.

Side-by-side comparisons of the transcripts of both speeches show Melania following Obama’s speech nearly word-for-word at portions.

Melania: Because we want our children in this nation to know that the only limit to your achievements is the strength of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.

Michelle Obama: Because we want our children — and all children in this nation — to know that the only limit to the height of your achievements is the reach of your dreams and your willingness to work for them.

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Marcus Hayes: ‘Dario came over because he knew of Turkey coup and I have gone heat crazy’

Marcus Hayes in cooler times.

Marcus Hayes, famed columnist, sweating enthusiast for the Philadelphia Daily News and Coggin Toboggan Super Fan #1 contacted us over the weekend and said he wanted to run his latest column by us and our readers before he release it to the public. We’re fans of local journalism, so of COURSE we told him we would and let our readers be the judge.

Marcus wrote the column over this past weekend and shared his thoughts on the newly arrived Dario Saric, who left Turkey just days before the country crumbled into a massive military coup to unseat the president, Recep Tayyip Erdoğan.

His latest column is a bit of a departure from his usual level-headed style, but perhaps just see for yourself after the jump?

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Sam Bradford downgraded to ‘doubtful’ for wedding

Oh good lord, what have I done?

Aspen, Colo. – Having gone through an entire last week of wedding preparations under the “probable” tag, Eagles quarterback and about to be newlywed Sam Bradford has been downgraded to “doubtful” this morning, according to his best man.

Sam, who last said he was very confident about his upcoming performance at today’s wedding to fiance Emma Lavy, reportedly had a debilitating panic attack this morning in front of his groomsmen and best man.

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Reports: Dario Saric charters steamer ship to America

Zagreb, Croatia – Sources have confirmed that Dario Saric, a forward for Anadolu Efes of the Turkish Basketball Super League, is currently in the Croatian port city of Sibenik and has booked himself a steerage ticket on a steamer ship and will set sail to America within the fortnight.

Saric, who has heard of far begone tales of good work and golden paved streets in America, reportedly packed his steamer trunk and bought a sack of limes from a merchant marine to ward off scurvy for the grueling trip ahead.

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SEPTA officials urging riders to get in line now for Eagles pre-season opener

septa-train Philadelphia, PA – Due to massive delays on most of its services, SEPTA officials are urging Eagles fans to get in line now if they hope to make it into the city on time for the first pre-season game on Thursday, Aug. 11.

The Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority has faced tremendous criticism from riders after the company recently sidelined 120 Silverliner V cars, a third of the coaches in its regional rail system, after defects were found in the suspension systems.

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Jahlil Okafor pens column blasting reporter for lack of sources

Enough is enough, says Jahlil Okafor.

The media in this city is disgusting. I wake up each and every day, shuddering as I reach for my iPhone to see what drivel reporters decide to “report” on me during a slow summer news cycle.

I get it. Newspapers are dying, you need a hook and you need something to bring in readers. Fine. But maybe do some actual reporting on a story instead of just throwing proverbial shit on the wall and seeing what sticks.

Take Tom Moore of the Bucks County Courier Time, for instance. He’s always citing his “sources” that say I’m unhappy with being in Philadelphia. Now he’s citing these “sources” saying that I’m upset the 76ers tried to trade me. It’s ridiculous.

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Aye, the Old Chip Kelly house? I wouldn’t go up there, some say it’s haunted

I wouldn’t go down that road.

Well hello young fellas, what can I do for you this fine summer afternoon? Care for a glass of sweet tea? Maybe sit on my porch for a spell, catch your breath and your bearings, you all look like you’ve traveled many miles.

No? Well what can I do to help you? I don’t have much, just a simple man with a simple way of life, working the land and doing the best I can to keep my family afloat.

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76ers, Sharice from Broad Street Carvery in section 120, agree to max deal

Philadelphia, PA – Despite being relatively inactive during the free agency period so far, 76ers representatives were happy to announce this morning that they had come to an agreement on a max-deal with one of the organization’s most productive and exciting young talents.

The 76ers and Sharice from the Broad Street Carvery station in section 120 agreed to a 5-year, $15 an hour max contract that will keep the 59-year-old mother of two carving meat with the 76ers until 2021.

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So you’ve decided to enter a hot dog eating contest…

Top Speed Eaters Compete In Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest

Now you’re in the shit.

Well, now you’ve done it this time, Mojombo. You ran your mouth again, wrote a check you couldn’t cash, and now you’ve found yourself smack dab in the middle of a good old fashioned Fourth of July weekend hot dog eating contest.

Calm down, calm down, stop crying. First off, I salute you Mr. or Mrs. John. Q. America. You’re participating in one of the most patriotic events a citizen of this grand country can be involved in. It’s every American’s god given right to overeat stuffed meat byproduct in 90 degree weather and then pass out on a red ant hill in front of your embarrassed children.

But whether you’re in the glitzy big time of Nathan’s Fourth of July contest or some back alley, unsanctioned eating event with only your wits and iron stomach to survive, the strategies for victory are the same.

We’re here to help at The Coggin Toboggan. So strap in tubby, we’re taking you on a wild ride down a gilded, hot dog paved road to success.

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