76ers, Sharice from Broad Street Carvery in section 120, agree to max deal

76ers logoPhiladelphia, PA – Despite being relatively inactive during the free agency period so far, 76ers representatives were happy to announce this morning that they had come to an agreement on a max-deal with one of the organization’s most productive and exciting young talents.

The 76ers and Sharice from the Broad Street Carvery station in section 120 agreed to a 5-year, $15 an hour max contract that will keep the 59-year-old mother of two carving meat with the 76ers until 2021.

The deal is a coup for the organization, as Sharice was garnering serious attention from a nearby Chili’s, an Applebees in South Jersey, and the Chicago Bulls.

Representatives cited Sharice’s carving ability, the ease of which she constructs prime rib sandwiches, her affable attitude, and “that one time” she clubbed a rat to death before it could reach a plate of roast beef someone had left out on a counter unattended as “perfect” reasons for offering her the lucrative deal.

“Sharice is a valued member of this organization and this new contract proves it. We look forward to eating her delicious corned beef reubens and pastrami sandwiches for a long, long time,” 76ers GM Bryan Colangelo said at a press conference this morning.

Sharice thanked the 76ers for deal, but said next time a new dental plan would be nice.

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