Washed up corpses now largest contingency attending Rio Olympics

812px-2016_summer_olympics_logo-svgRio de Janiero, Brazil – With more reports of dead bodies washing up on the shores of Rio just weeks before the 2016 Olympics, the International Olympic Committee confirmed the corpses are now officially the largest contingency to send athletes to the games.

The dead have now sent nearly 1,000 representatives to compete in the Olympics, most of whom have already washed up on the beaches of Rio, ready and raring to get started.

Several experts have already declared the corpses to have a significant edge in many of the water based events, as their bloated, gas filled bodies create “superior buoyancy” and have “little, if any fear” of the rampant filth and disease that has forced elite athletes to pull out of the games.

“With so many athletes pulling out of this year’s games due to fears of the Zika virus, dirty playing conditions, polluted event water, unsafe athlete villages, it’s welcome news that corpses will now have strong representation in the Olympics,” said Thomas Bach, president of the International Olympics Committee.

The corpses have already been well received by the locals, who have flocked to the local beaches, docks and jetties to welcome the contingency to Rio. Several local children have also taken to poking the bloated bodies with sticks.

While they’re not a vocal group, the corpse contingency seems content to lie around, work on their tans, and feed the native wildlife.

At press time, John Thompson, president of the corpse contingency, skipped a meeting with media members today and instead took a meeting with local hermit crabs and seagulls, who declared him delicious.

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2 comments

  1. media want to harm Rio2016.
    not zika problem in rio de janeiro, who is feeding this Intenacional average, it is rare to know anyone with zika and rio de janeiro this winter beating cold records. zika farse. really want to profit laboratory in this whole scam.

    federal government released money for state of Janeio river facing budget deficit because the price of oil low, but it has already resolved Been

    during cup of brasi world, la Western international press made devil, russia sochi in 2015 was the same, but in the end were great games and safe, it is worth remembering World Cup in 2014 were 1.4 million foreigners were safe and well the best of all time, but Olympics is 3x less public, more police during an event at the end of the account will be quite safe.

    real video Rio2016

    over 60% of rio de janeiro city population supports recent research that Olympics will be a success.
    Olympiad of Rio2016 is cheaper in history.

    as this media no news to give, because all works and Rio2016 arenas are already ready for months. then depart for sensationalism

    this super bacteria of history is fake because even if it Were True, They interditariam the beaches of Rio de Janeiro has Thousands of people every month.

    every year has sailing competition in the bay of Rio de Janeiro and only now complain.
    video that proves that it is not as bad as they say / watch? v = 8jdeHlYeUPA

    Not true, only 6% of the population live in slums and only 3% live in extreme poverty, in rio de janeiro is 21% live in slums.

    Liked by 1 person

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