Reports: Dario Saric charters steamer ship to America

Dario SaricZagreb, Croatia – Sources have confirmed that Dario Saric, a forward for Anadolu Efes of the Turkish Basketball Super League, is currently in the Croatian port city of Sibenik and has booked himself a steerage ticket on a steamer ship and will set sail to America within the fortnight.

Saric, who has heard of far begone tales of good work and golden paved streets in America, reportedly packed his steamer trunk and bought a sack of limes from a merchant marine to ward off scurvy for the grueling trip ahead.

“I have heard that anyone can make a life for themselves in America, the land of freedom,” the eager Saric said. “I have had communication with the basketball team in Philadelphia, city of brotherly love, and they have promised me the opportunity of good work and honest pay for next year if I come overseas.”

Kissing his mother and father goodbye, and promising he would send a telegram when he arrived, Saric set off on a transatlantic adventure that would change his life.

The small steamer ship reportedly will carry 200 immigrants in its rusted, leaking steerage area, many of whom are fueled only by the hope of a better life. Cholera and smallpox are likely to run rampant through many of the young and elderly passengers and 50% of the passengers are predicted to die before reaching the United States.

Saric noted that he paid 50 Kruna extra for an upgraded ticket, which includes 10 minutes of fresh air a day, only four other bed mates to his straw filled mattress, and an extra lump of hardtack at supper time.

“Hopefully the better accommodations will ward of any diseases I may encounter. I need to be strong for when I arrive,” Saric said, as he brushed his shoulders with wolfsbane to ward off Consumption.

Depending on the tides, the weather, the seas, processing time at Ellis Island, and general health of the crew on the trip, 76ers officials predict Saric will step foot on America by March of 2018 at the earliest.

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