94 WIP

Tale of the Tape: Mike Missanelli vs. Josh Innes

boxing-glovesReports and pictures out of Eagles practice today (and this is not bullshit) are confirming a confrontation between 94 WIP mid-day host Josh Innes and 97.5 The Fan mid-day host Mike Missanelli on the sidelines of the joint Eagles/Ravens scrimmage this afternoon.

Nothing has been confirmed, but Crossing Broad has posted pictures from a tipster and Jimmy Kempski, Eagles writer for PhillyVoice, showing some sort of confrontation between the two supposedly adult males who cover sports for a living.

(They cover sports and want to fight each other…lets all let that sink in for a few minutes)

It’s unknown if things reached a physical level, but we decided to look at the tale of the tape for both hosts – who we again remind you are fully mature and grown men – if they were ever locked together in combat.

Let us know who you got if these two ABSOLUTE TITANS ever decided to throw down.

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The Josh Innes, Spike Eskin, and Hollis Thomas show! (An assessment)
Josh Innes doing his best Spike Eskin impersonation.

Josh Innes doing his best Spike Eskin impersonation.

Have you ever wanted to listen to a sports talk radio show with three hosts, where one speaks for about 90% of the on-air time, the second gamely tries to play along with whatever antics are planned for day, and the third over laughs at EVERY SINGLE JOKE said during the four-hour program?

Well ladies and gentlemen, the newly (re-re-RE) formatted 94 WIP mid-day show is for you!

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Josh Innes takes week off to train in secluded cabin in the Poconos

hqdefaultPhiladelphia, PA – Citing a need to become stronger and getting back to his roots, Josh Innes revealed today he spent his previous week off the radio secluded in a desolate cabin deep in the Pocono mountains.

Innes needed to get away after his longtime friend and co-host Tony Bruno was killed in the ring (retired) last week after decades on air.

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Josh Innes thrilled he no longer has to wear pants to work
Josh Innes reminding himself he no longer has to wear pants into the office. (Photo credit: Philly.com)

Josh Innes reminding himself he no longer has to wear pants into the office. (Photo credit: Philly.com)

Philadelphia, PA – Following the decision yesterday of co-host Tony Bruno stepping down from the 94 WIP afternoon drive show he had worked on for several months, remaining host Josh Innes expressed his regret that the venerable and experienced Bruno had decided to retire from the sports talk radio format.

However, Innes did see one positive in the situation, as he ceremoniously unbuttoned his strained jeans and threw them into the garbage the second he was in the WIP studio.

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Ruben Amaro Jr: I was misquoted

rubenPhiladelphia, PA – Perhaps looking for some damage control a day after a conversation with Jim Salisbury, Ruben Amaro Jr. took to the airwaves on Philadelphia media and claimed the CSN Philly reporter severely misquoted him in the now infamous story where Amaro said fans don’t understand the game.

He first claimed he was misquoted Monday morning, in an on-air appearance with WIP host Howard Eskin.

“Howard, I never said the fans ‘don’t understand the game,’ that’s just not true,” Amaro said. “What I really told Jim Salisbury is that I don’t understand how 99% of the mouth-breathing fans in this town can support a family when they’re this fucking stupid and inept.”

Eskin abruptly turned off Amaro’s microphone and quickly ended the segment, going into a hasty live read for Steven Singer. Even though is microphone was off, Amaro could be heard in the background over Eskin complaining that “If these retarded fans think Nola is going to turn this shipwreck around, they should take a long walk off a short pier.”

Amaro continued his apology tour, appearing on 97.5 The Fanatic with Mike Missanelli in the afternoon.

“As I said earlier, Mike, I was misquote. I never said the fans ‘bitch and complain because we don’t have a plan.’ I would never say this,” Amaro said. “No, I actually said I get tired of hearing these inbred morons bitching and complaining about their pathetic lives when they’re in MY stadium, when they should be drinking themselves to death and spending money in our concession stands. Fuck these pieces of garbage. How DARE they insult Ruben, I am a god in this horrific town.”

Missanelli was too busy daydreaming about his cat to dump out of Amaro’s tantrum and was immediately released from his contract at the end of the show.

As of press time, Amaro Jr. flipped off a number of booing fans outside of The Fanatic and was pulled over after running a red light. He was charged to the fullest extent of the law, much to the delight of everyone in Philadelphia and South Jersey.

Sam Hinkie escorted out of the Lenny Dykstra and Mitch Williams roast

Hinkie glassesPhiladelphia, PA – A few weeks ago, 94 WIP held a roast for Philadelphia Phillies legends Lenny Dykstra and Mitch Williams at the Electric Factory, where the two alums were heckled for nearly an hour and a half by local comedians and some of their sports peers.

However, just a few clips on YouTube have emerged of the event, leading many to wonder why more highlights have yet to come out? Whispers and mumbles from the crowd at the roast have been slowly leaking out from the event, but very few concrete details have been confirmed.

What happened at this thing?

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Jon Marks: I can’t wait to work with Anthony Gargano and for him to be fired

roster-fanatic-hourPhiladelphia, PA – Jon Marks of 97.5 the Fanatic commented this afternoon on the news that former 94.1 WIP host Anthony Gargano would be joining him in a new morning show leading into Mike Missanelli in the afternoons.

Marks said it would be an absolute pleasure to work with Gargano and for him to be unceremoniously fired after 6 months when rating improvements are not instantaneous.

“Working with the Cuz will be a great moment in my career, and I especially look forward to seeing him receiving his walking papers in just a few months,” Marks said, a smile on his face. “What a day that will be when the station manager marches us into his office, notices that we haven’t been able to improve ratings in a very short amount of time, and for him to blame everything on Gargano and send him packing.”anthony-gargano

News broke this afternoon and social media was abuzz. Sports fan on Twitter and Facebook both expressed their desire to hear Gargano again, albeit it on another station, and were absolutely giddy in anticipation of when he would be let go of his contract.

“I missed the Cuz on the radio, it’s a far better town with him in it,” said Johnny Loubatz, an avid sports talk fan. “And I will absolutely shit my pants in a few months when he is no longer allowed on Fanatic premises.”

As of press time, Gargano was stockpiling cardboard boxes for when he has to clean out his desk.

Anthony Gargano co-hosts the afternoon drive with Mike Missanelli, fired from 97.5 FM
anthony-gargano

Oh well, fired again. Maybe Breakfast on Broad will be better?

Philadelphia, PA – In a surprise turn of events, Anthony Gargano, former sports talk radio host on 94.1 WIP for many years before his release in late 2014, co-hosted the afternoon drive with Mike Missanelli on 97.5 FM yesterday.

“We are here to change the face of Philadelphia sports talk radio! We are looking forward to entertaining Philadelphia fans for years to come!” Missanelli said. “And now I’m receiving word that Anthony has been fired. Anthony, please leave the studio right now.”

Gargano was then handed a shredded copy of his new contract and told to vacate the premises immediately.

“Hey, he gave it a good shot, but Gargano just didn’t cut it on 97.5 the Fanatic,” said Matt Nahigian, program direct for the station. “We felt we got a good enough overview of him as a potential host from his four hours of programming with us. Now get the hell out of here.”

Gargano, a self-proclaimed lover of meats, was escorted by security from the station’s premises before his belongings were strewn about One Bala Plaza. One of the guards punted a copy of Gargano’s book, “NFL Unplugged: The Brutal, Brilliant world of Professional Football” into a nearby creek before the fired host could pick it up off the ground.

The day was not completely lost, however, as Rob Ellis, former 94.1 WIP host and a former co-host with Gargano, offered him an internship on his new morning television show, Breakfast on Broad.

Ellis warned Gargano the position it would most likely only last a month or two.

“Oh, I fully expect the show to be cancelled by then,” a confident Ellis said.

Josh Innes brilliantly breaks down Jimmy Rollins’ statements, farts long, hard into microphone

20150201-Tony-Bruno-John-InnessPhiladelphia, PA – 94 WIP sports talk host Josh Innes took to the airwaves yesterday to discuss the recent statements of Jimmy Rollins, former Philadelphia Phillies. Innes calmly and eloquently broke down Rollins’ statements about Philadelphia not appreciating the dynamic he had with the fans, presenting a rationale argument for each of his talking points.

“He was never a superstar. He was a great player, but never a superstar, and it just shows you where his head is at if he’s describing himself as such,” Innes said. “It’s absurd for him to make these statements about his prowess as a player, but he does raise some valid points about the people of Philadelphia possibly holding him to a higher standard than other players on those great teams, like Chase Utley or Ryan Howard.”

Innes then lowered his microphone to his buttocks and flatulated into the live mic for 15 seconds.

“It seems as if he’s directly comparing himself to Chase Utley. He may be jealous of the attention and free pass Utley has gotten from fans for all these years. Can you really blame him?” Innes said, before bending over and sticking the microphone between his legs to let out several small, machine gun blasts of flatulence.

Bruno nodded along in agreement with Innes, and punctuated the end of the segment with a few quick sprays of Febreeze throughout the studio.

“Well, tomorrow on the show we’ll have former United States Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice on with us. She’ll be discussing the state of pro football with us, she’s a huge fan, Tony, and she’ll be sharing her thoughts with us on the turmoil in the Middle East,” he said. “Plus, we’ll have 5 strippers in here from Club Risque and we’ll be playing a round of our patented game, Bologna tits. 10 slices, 10 breasts, 10 throws. Should be a great show.”

Meet the new Philadelphia Eagles

philadelphia_eagles_logo_4008Philadelphia, PA – Following one of the most storied days in free agency history in Philadelphia, the Eagles have two new prized running backs that will be taking the field in 2015-2016.

Chip Kelly and company inked both Demarco Murray and Ryan Mathews to substantial contracts for the upcoming seasons. Sure, we know what they can do on the field, but what about the men behind the facemasks?

The CT has collected a detailed look on both Murray and Mathews. Here are several facts that you may not know about the two newest Philadelphia Eagles.

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